Here is the prompt:
"Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community?"
Notes:
English is not my first language, so there may be a lot of grammar mistakes. Please please tell me if there is any mistake!
Does my essay look boring or abstract? Is there any structural mistake?
ANY CRITICISM AND COMMENTS ARE STRONGLY WELCOMED! Thank you so much for your time!
my essay:
Before I clicked on the video of "true learning" on the Penn's website, I asked myself: what's your definition of "true learning"? This philosophical question is hard to answer, yet I'm sure that true learning, rather than being monotonous and exclusive, is comprehensive and even unsettling: views challenged and converted, beliefs reflected and reformed. And as it turned out, U Penn is a campus full of "electricity sparks", not only on classes, where heated debate and enthusiastic professors keep flooding students' mind; The sparks also glisten in life. I would like to wait in line in a cafeteria, with an European standing ahead and an African behind. The sparks in our chatting will lend me different visions to see the world.
What's more, U Penn has the whole world backing it up, with abundant opportunities provided by Abroad programs. I could already imagine myself basking in the beauty of Italian language, art and culture in Venice; or delving into the mystries of English theatre, literature and film in London; The whole world with limitless possibilities are lying ahead, and Penn will give me a bridge. For a curious and adventurous Me, Penn provides her a perfect world to explore.
But Penn is more than that. The video catched me by its very begining scene: At 5:30 in the morning, in the calm Penn campus, a girl goes boating along the river, sliding in complete peacefulness, paying attention only to the boat and herself, reflecting. It allows me to glimpse behind that scene: the space for self-reflection and individual development. I would sit in great quietness of Fisher Fine Arts Library, musing deeply about Great Minds' thoughts; or participate in the programs of University Life Arts Initiatives, sharing the magics of dancing and performing arts with local kids. Penn incredibly concerns about students' real being and inner voice. Its unparalled advising network is no doubt another genius invention. Peer advisors, academic advisors, professional advisors and faculty, all with distinct visions yet all revolve around me to help me figure out who is the real me, or Which approach suits me the best in academics and in life. And perhaps I would get a shot in the Live of Kelly Writers House, making my voice heard not only by myself, but also by Penn, and even by the world.
While College of Arts and Sciences is armed with all these idiosyncrasies of Penn, it offers me more. Indeed, by its name, the CAS seems contradictory. How could it be possible to have Arts and Sciences live harmoniously under the same roof? After all, it killed me when I was forced to choose between Arts and Sciences in my sophomore year of high school. How can I mix psycology with architecture, literary with marine biology, literary and calculus, linguistics and marine biology? But this CAS can make this happen! I will swim between arts and sciences through the dynamic interdisciplinary studies and flexible majors and minors. Nothing can block my curiosity for knowledge.
True learning, after all, can not be universally defined since in my own perspectives, true learning must combine abundant opportunities of academics and communities with enough room for one's individual development.
The video catched me by its very begining scene:
Caught not catched?
But this CAS can make this happen!
Sounds slightly awkward. perhaps: But within the CAS, anyone can.
Indeed, by its name, the CAS seems contradictory.
How about: Indeed, looking at its name, the CAS comes across as contradictory.
Overall, I think this essay is one of the better ones I have read for the Penn supplement. Honest opinion. (: it is obvious effort has been put in and research on the college has been meticulously conducted. All the best! It would be great if you can take a look at my Penn essay too. Cheers!
