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A time when I had to tutor a teenager of different background


sampunk9494 7 / 26 2  
Dec 17, 2014   #1
Describe a situation where you had to work or closely associate with someone from a background very different from your own. What challenges did you face and how did you resolve them? (250-1000 words)

Hi, please proofread, comment on my essay response. I wonder if I met the require of the prompt of describing the challenge and if I was being too long-winded, especially in the fourth paragraph. Thank you!

It was an unexpected call from an unexpected person. The secretary of Singapore's most renowned interior design firm just called me, asking if I was able to tutor the director's son, Henry. Henry's full-time tutor had gone on vacation, and his parents urgently needed a replacement tutor to prepare him for the International GCSE. Somehow the secretary chanced upon my number in the classifieds and thought I was a suitable tutor to fill that role. What was different about this teaching "gig" was that the parents requested that the lessons be conducted 5 times a week, compared to 1 time a week for my other students. Of course I jumped on the opportunity without hesitation, as the remuneration was the highest since I started freelancing as a private tutor after graduating from high school.

While reflecting on how lucky I was to score such a high-paying gig, I also began to worry that there were challenges ahead of me during the tuition. Since I come from a low-income family and have hardly encountered people who come from a very privileged background, my mind pictured a spoilt, snobbish and apathetic teenager who had little interest in learning. He was going to give me a hard time by refusing to pay attention and do the assignments I set for him. Bracing myself for such a situation, I was ready to establish myself as a strict teacher from the first lesson.

On the day of the first lesson, I travelled to Henry's house - a three-story detached house. I had never stepped into a detached house before then, and when I entered, it felt like I was in another country. I thought the exterior was impressive, but the interior of the house made me think, you get to live here every day?! As I was being led into the living room by the domestic worker, I was greeted by two friendly huskies, apparently very well-fed. While waiting for Henry, I surveyed the living room, and made a conservative estimate that it alone was twice as large as my house.

After waiting for about 10 minutes, Henry came down the stairs and greeted me. He apologized for the wait, and introduced himself with such friendliness that disarmed the austere demeanor I have been meticulously putting up. During the lessons, he respected me by being very attentive as I explained concepts and clarified his misconceptions. He thanked me every time I corrected his mistakes. Since Henry is a French-American, I occasionally had difficulty deciphering what he had said due to his accent. I would ask him to kindly repeat what he had said more slowly, and he would apologize for being unclear and then patiently repeated what he said.

When the lesson ended, I felt really guilty for having a prejudiced view of Henry even before I met him, just because he comes from a more privileged background than I. He is not spoilt, snobbish and apathetic. He is extremely well-mannered, humble, and even more passionate about learning than I am. I changed my teaching method accordingly - to a more encouraging and probing approach instead of a more authoritative slant that I initially intended. As a result, I enjoyed the teaching process, and look forward to Henry's passionate curiosity every lesson. Our friendship also blossomed through our shared interest in basketball, and till this day, I still keep in contact with him and he would invite me to play basketball every other weekend. The interaction with Henry felt like a slap to my face for being so narrow-minded. Even though I was his teacher, Henry has taught me a more valuable life lesson - to never judge a person from his background.
MKhan 2 / 5  
Dec 18, 2014   #2
In the first paragraph you might want to clear up who Henry is. in the 2nd paragraph i think it would be best to change "during the tuition" to "such as tuition"
OP sampunk9494 7 / 26 2  
Dec 19, 2014   #3
Thanks for the feedback.

If I make the change it will be "... challenges of me such as tuition" which doesn't make sense.

I was just wondering if vangiespen could evaluate my essay?
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 4, 2015   #4
Alright, the way I see it, then answer you have written for the prompt is quite shallow and does not really reflect a serious situation with obstacles you had to overcome. The reason that I say this is because your only had to overcome your prejudice at having to deal with the son of a rich household. A son who, right off the bat, proved to be welcoming and accommodating, willing to work with you at every turn. That scenario is not exactly the obstacle riddled situation of working closely with someone else that the prompt was expecting for an answer. There were no real obstacles to overcome in this situation because the two of you worked together to make the situation work. It is my opinion that you should choose a more challenging situation with some real obstacles that you had to overcome. Surely during your time as a freelance tutor, you had come across a student or two who had been less accommodating and cooperative with you. That is the student you should be discussing in this essay. The one who truly tried your patience and your mettle as a tutor. That way you can offer real examples of the obstacles you faced in reaching out to the child and how you overcame those problems to finally get him or her to work with you for his own benefit.

I hope you don't find my opinion harsh and that you accept it with an open mind. I realize that I am the only one right now who has offered a different point of view and opinion about the essay that you wrote. I understand how difficult it will be to accept my words after having written a second version of the same essay. Please keep in mind that my opinion is just that, an opinion that you may or may not take seriously. If you wish to stick with the current essay that you have then I support you just the same :-)


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