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BU Supplement, three words: "Determined, ambitious and convivial"


obituary 2 / 4  
Dec 30, 2009   #1
In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

I feel that describing yourself is not a very easy task, or one which can be done with much accuracy or precision. An event and an observer are non-superimposable in all ways. However I will make an attempt at doing so.

The first thing which people normally notice about me is that I am determined. I do not give up while doing anything easily because when I complete a difficult task, I feel accomplished. I am not afraid of a challenge and feel that life would not be exciting if one didn't come about once in a while. I like tasks which push you to your limit and show your determination. While my peers are dropping classes which they feel are too difficult, I am taking up subjects for which I have not even completed the pre-requisites for. While my peers are glad to not have to study certain subjects anymore, I am studying certain subjects on my own, since I regret not taking them up in high school.

Another word I would use to describe myself is "ambitious". I have certain dreams which an average person might refer to as unrealistic, but my ambitions are not moved by that. I believe that a person knows what he is capable of and that he should set his goals accordingly. I dream to one day become a highly acclaimed professor, a writer, a philanthropist and maybe win a prestigious academic award along the way. Fading into oblivion after death is one of my greatest fears and I am prepared to do anything which would help me to avoid that fear.

Finally, the third word I would use to describe myself is "convivial". I love to go out, enjoy myself and have a good time. I believe that forgetting about all the complications of life and viewing things in a simple manner once in a while is healthy. I love to mindlessly move to the music I enjoy, watch comedy films, fool around with my friends and do anything else which gives me pleasure and causes no harm to others.

Boston University would be an ideal place to fully benefit from the qualities mentioned above. I would contribute fully to the academic life by using my sheer determination and ambition for achieving great things. I would bring along with me a great set of ideas, goals and passions which would help me make a positive difference at the Boston University community. My love for simple fun and pleasures would contribute to the social life at BU and so would BU help this side of me. BU and myself would both enjoy each other to the fullest, both academically and socially.

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I am not so sure whether the first paragraph should be left there or removed. Any suggestions/criticisms are welcome.
kiwi90 8 / 21  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
Hi, I think your essay is concise and to the point. But I can notice a few mistakes;
I do not give up (easily) while doing anything (shouldn't this be something?) easily because

I am not afraid of a challenge and feel that life would not be exciting if one (I) didn't come about once in a while.

I like tasks which push you (me) to your (my)limit and show your (my) determination.

but my ambitions are not moved by that. (might be better to say "my ambitions do not stir? just suggesting)

This is as far as I can catch, hope this helped. Good luck!
OP obituary 2 / 4  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
Hmm, thanks for pointing these out. Any other comments?
JamesLe 1 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
Hi there! Thanks for the comment on my essay.

I'll try my best helping you with yours. :)

If by the 1st paragraph, you mean this one:

I feel that describing yourself is not a very easy task, or one which can be done with much accuracy or precision. An event and an observer are non-superimposable in all ways. However I will make an attempt at doing so.

then I think you should remove it. It isn't really related to the topic. Moreover, you should not "make an attempt", but just do it trying to appear as confident about what you are about to write as possible, especially since this essay is totally about you. Hope I somehow made my point. :P

The first thing which people normally notice about me is that I am determined.

comedy films movies

Boston University would be an ideal place to fully benefit from the qualities mentioned above.

I guess, you should change the way you say it. It sounds a little bit...self-centered?? Try maybe: I believe that those qualities would flourish in the ... environment of Boston University. (?)

My love for simple fun and pleasures

Err.. I'm not certain what you mean by this. :D

Overall, I think that the essay is good. It answers the topic. Like kiwi90 said, it is concise and to the point. However, it is a little bit too general. Be more specific. You could give some examples for each characteristic/quality.

Hope it helped. Mind having a look at my essay again? Thanks in advance. :)


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