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three reasons I feel fortunate to be the person I am.


shuha2005 1 / -  
Nov 4, 2012   #1
Hey,
Guys this is my first time that I wrote my essay by my own. So Please check out for any mistakes or errors in my essay.

Prompts: Explain three reasons you feel fortunate to be the person you are.

My birth in prosperous family, all accomplishments that I attained in my education and my successful career in the field of business are the three reasons why I feel fortunate to be the person I am.

The first reason why I feel fortunate is my birth in prosperous family. Since my parents were a financially stable, they could afford my education in high quality education facilities. I grew up in environment without any necessities; In addition, I grew up in beautiful house with luxury condition. The atmosphere in which I grew up built my education, ethical background for today's arena of battle.

All my knowledge that received from high quality education facilities helped me to continue my education in higher-level of schooling. After Graduation of my high school in my home country, I applied to ASA College in Brooklyn. NY. I was successfully admitted. My admission to college changed whole my world. So I came to US in 2009. And I was one of most successful students of my college. That is the second reason why I feel fortunate to be the person I am.

By studying in ASA College I opened the path to my career in business field. After my graduation I came to Alabama to create Transportation Company with my friend in December 2010. Since that time I started my career as Businessman. So far, our rating shows that we are one of the leading Transportation Company in Alabama. That is the third reason why I feel fortunate to be the person I am.

All my success in my social life, in my education and in my career leads to the earliest fortune that did not miss. Which was high quality education that my family afforded. In vain speak that tremendous future depends on successful beginning.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 20, 2012   #2
My birth in prosperous family, all accomplishments that I attained in my education and my successful career in the field of business are the three reasons why I feel fortunate to be the person I am.

I suggest the following for this opening sentence;

I call myself a fortunate person because I was born into a wealthy family, I achieved all my academic goals and found a successful career in the field business.

The first reason why I feel fortunate is my birth in prosperous family.

You mentioned this in the first para. So you better express this differently;
Having born to a prosperous family very well looks after one's desire for a quality education. When the parents have the financial stability they could always opt the best solutions for providing education to their children.


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