Somebody who has had a profound impact on my life if my father. He has always shown me unconditional love, no matter how badly I screw up. My father has also taught me the monumental importance of a good work ethic. He shown me by example how to play baseball, drive a car, fix things, treat a lady, raise a family, and he always will be there in any personal moment of uncertainty.
My father would always say, "I don't care what anybody says about you, you're a good kid." Even after failing a test, not showing enough hustle, or letting somebody down, I could always feel his love. He always saw any mistake as room for improvement, and helped me become a better athlete, student, leader, and person. That kind of love and guidance makes me want to perform better in everything I do. I hope that in the future, I am strong enough to show my children the kind of love my father gave me.
My father works harder than anyone else I have ever met. He'll work early in the morning, he'll work late into the night, he'll work on weekends, he'll go on business trips, and then he'll come home and work some more. What is most impressive to me, though, is that I've never heard him complain once about the workload. It puts my problems in perspective whenever I think about how hard my father works to support us. I could never fashion into words how much gratitude I feel for all the time he sacrifices to take care of our family. He motivates me to be more selfless in everything I do, and to think of others before myself.
I am so fortunate to have somebody in my life who loves his family as much as my father. In a world where a positive male role model is often times missing in a young man's life, I couldn't think of a better one for me. My father provides not only a means for my family to live by, but a blueprint of who I want to be in my adulthood.
He
has shown me by example how...
baseball, drive a car, fix things, treat a lady, raise a family,
Don't list things in this way. You have done it more than once. There are better ways of expression.
In a world where a positive male role model is often
times missing in a young man's life
I like your concluding sentence.
Keep those verb tenses consistent:
He has always shown me unconditional love, no matter how badly I screwed up.
He shown showed me by example how to play baseball, drive a car, fix things, treat a lady, raise a family, and ...
...and he always will be there in any personal moment of uncertainty.--- I like this part.
oftentimes is one word:
... where a positive male role model is oftentimes missing in a...
This is really nice. It is a little simple, but very nice. If you want to go a little deeper in your analysis, discuss your career interests as they may have been influenced by your father. You can also do some self-analysis and really open up to the reader about your hopes, your concerns, etc., about college. Give some examples, and let the reader know what role your father played in each situation you write about.
