I don't know if this is good enough. Please correct any mistakes I may have in my essay. Thank you
Prompt 1-Describe the world you come from -for example, your family, community or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
My family has always been a big one and being the second oldest of five children gave me a duty. What come with the title of being an older sister are responsibilities, being a role model, and expectations. I have to keep up my grades to set an example for my siblings, take care of them while my parents are away, and help them with any sort of problems. Dealing with all this was not easy, but it was thanks to my sisters and brothers that I have a goal to accomplish.
There were a lot of minor health issues in my family. I was always a healthy child and never had many problems, but my siblings were different. They tend to have colds, injuries, and stomach problems which made me very concerned for them. Every single time this happened, we always end up in the pediatrics. Three adjectives that described how I used to feel about the pediatrics were frightened, alarmed, and horrified. This was before I realized how important the pediatrics was one day.
Six years ago, I went to my cousin's house to visit. During the time that I was there, my little brother had a huge fever. This situation had never happened to me before because I have always been with my siblings whenever they were ill. Being the older sister that I am, I rushed back home and found my mother caring for him while he was on the bed. His face was bright-red, his cheeks were swelling, and he was sweating excessively. My mother and I brought him to the pediatrics to see if the doctor would be able to help get rid of his fever. I was amazed to see how calm and understanding our pediatrician was when we told her about the situation. My brother was very tense at first, but he felt more comfortable with her after five minutes. While she was examining my little brother, I stood helplessly near the door watching. At that moment, I felt useless and a failure as a sister because I couldn't do anything to help my brother. This feeling disappeared when I decided what I wanted to be in the future.
Pediatrics was not a place to harm people even though getting shots were painful and the medicine could be highly displeasing, it was to help the children. The incident helped me realized this and made me feel a great admiration for many doctors. I regret not understanding about pediatricians at first, but now I am inspired to become one. I had always been attached to children due to the care and love I have for my sister and brothers so striving in this career will be meaningful to me. Growing up and taking care of my siblings made me realize how important children shape my life.
Use a comma:
My family has always been a big one, and being...
It is great that your role as eldest sister inspired you to become a physician. I think you should condense the material about being an older sister so that you have more room to discuss the thoughts you have had about pediatrics. Show what you have already learned about the field. Do you have any special plan for becoming the best pediatrician you can be?
It will be great if you can use one paragraph to express the idea of being an older sister but feeling helpless during medical procedures and wanting to take an education that would empower you to be an even better caretaker for young children.
