This essay for the Common App describes how I became interested in the Japanese language. The word limit is 250-650 words, but I believe this essay is about 570 words long. Feel free to give advice or make suggestions!
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (I chose to write about my Japanese interest)
It all started with a workbook my mom ordered for me on Amazon. When I told her I wanted to learn Japanese, and she bought me a self-teaching workbook so I could do just that. When I unwrapped the box and saw the title, "Genki I", I was thrilled and couldn't wait to begin. Each afternoon when I got home from school, I'd work through a page or two of the book and felt amazed that what I did felt entirely like fun and not at all like work. This was a new experience for me!
Not long thereafter during my 10th grade Honors English class, a teacher came to the class and discussed summer Governor's school opportunities and the offerings she outlined did not appeal to me. However, on the last page of the packet there was a miniscule section with the title "Language Academies". I requested to see the language packet, and when I saw there was a Governor's Japanese Academy, I was elated. The process was, I was told, competitive and I immediately began working on my application. That spring, I was notified by letter that I'd been selected to attend the Virginia's Japanese Governors' School Language Academy. I was jubilant to know that after all my diligence at self-study I would be be rewarded with real classroom learning, cultural immersion and most importantly, I would meet other students learning Japanese. Heretofore, I was alone in my quest and often felt 'out of the loop' since none of my friends shared my interest. It was a profound relief for me to know that other students who were my age were interested in learning Japanese and I was going to meet them!
The 2014 Governor's Japanese Academy did not disappoint and I met amazing people. I became an active participant with other Virginia high school students, and experienced opportunities that I never would have otherwise. The program allowed me to take the next step of my Japanese journey. My short-range plan during college includes pursuing a Japanese-related activity in college along with my desired science major and perhaps even a study-abroad experience. I am excited to ponder these possibilities.
Rarely have I studied a topic that flows from my ears to my brain to my tongue as easily as the Japanese language. Despite four years of Spanish (which I have enjoyed and excelled at) these four years that I have committed to self-studying Japanese no only fulfills a lifelong interest, but seems to enhance my self-discovery. At times of stress or difficulty, my self-motivated study of Japanese has even provided solace and respite from the occasional irritants we all endure from time to time. I would not be exaggerating to say that there were moments when study of this language and culture has been my 'escape' just as a cross-country runner escapes into the solitude of the course. Having done both - I relish these moments of inner peace, and sometimes an escape from the world. Being self-motivated to continue this pursuit and eager to acquire further knowledge as a Japanese speaker, I want to consume more of it. I want to read Lady Murasaki's The Tale of Genji in its original vernacular, to watch my favorite Japanese films without the subtitles, to sing every Japanese refrain with fluid understanding of what the melody means, and to one day fulfill my dream of visiting and perhaps even working in Japan.
Amy, I believe that there is room for improvement in your essay. I see that improvement as being at the beginning when you talk about how your mom bought you that learning kit from amazon. It just feels like there is a gap where an explanation should be. In my mind, as the reviewer, I would have wanted to read about where this early interest came from. I mean, your mother would not just buy you a Japanese learning kit. Surely she got the idea from somewhere. Just as you got the idea that you wanted to learn to speak Japanese from somewhere as well. It is very important that you show the reviewer the roots of your interest.
While a reviewer will most likely enjoy reading about the development of your interest in the language, most specially all the plans you have for your future which are either Japan or Japanese related, the reviewer would also like to know why your interest seems to be so deeply rooted within you. What was your motivation to learn about the language? What you have discussed is not just a simple interest, it is also a talent, and an achievement. So learning about its development and cultivation through the years would explain how and why this happened to you.
Aside from a few spelling errors that I know you will be able to catch for yourself once you review this essay, I really cannot fault your work. I admire the way it was developed and written. It shows the reviewer that you have a solid study plan for college and a career path afterwards. The essay you wrote more than accomplishes the task it sets out to do. Just like everything else though, it can still use a little tweaking :-)
Thank you again for all your suggestions! I will tweak the essay for errors and elaborate more on how I became interested in Japanese and why it is so important to me. :)
@amyo, I will be very straight forward in making my suggestions for your essay, this way you will see the remarks pretty easy and you can follow through easily.
-...Japanese, and she bought me
- a self-teachingstudy workbook so I could do just that.
- ...when I gotget home from school,
- I'd work through a page or two of the book and felt amazedamazing
- Not long thereafter duringon my..
- I was notified bythrough a letter
- ....Virginia's Japanese Governors' School of Language Academy.
- HeretoforeHowever , I was alone...
- The 2014 Governor's Japanese Academy did not disappoint me and I met amazing people.
@amyo you'll be glad to know that there is also a student here in EF who is interested on Japanese education, I just can't remember what the name of the student is but just like you this student is also aiming for the UV to take on a Japanese education, you guys share the same interest so I guess you will get along very well. When I com across the students name, I will send you a message so you can start a, hopefully, lifelong friendship.
Thanks for your suggestions! I'd love to meet the fellow Japanese student interested in attending UVA, hopefully we'll both be accepted :)
