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Stanford Supplements- extracurricular, roommate, freedom, intellectual, and short answers


Knight14 2 / 9 1  
Nov 2, 2013   #1
These are my current drafts for the Stanford prompts. All help is appreciated and feel free to be harsh/honest. I am grateful for all feedback that I can receive. Also I am not sure if I answered the intellectual vitality essay correctly since the prompt is too vague.

Stanford Prompt #1: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (150 word limit.)
Last summer, I volunteered at Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital. I was assigned to play with patients and their relatives. Some children were excited to spend time playing with me while others took longer to open up to me. I worked only on Tuesdays, but it became my favorite day of the week. I loved my job since it gave me a sense of accomplishment. Looking at a smiling child was my source of satisfaction and content. One time my supervisor brought over a child to babysit. He would not talk to me at first, but after a while he opened up to me and we played together until my supervisor came back to bring him to his parents. I stayed for an extra hour enjoying our conversation, exchanging jokes, smiles and information with him, not realizing that my shift was over.

Prompt #3: Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (250 word limit.)
My brother, at the age of two months, was diagnosed with a blood disorder that requires blood transfusions twice a month and constant doctor visits. As my brother was growing he needed someone to relieve the pain so I used to accompany him on his hospital visits. I used to watch the patients in pain, while the doctors were helpless. The limited resources surrounding the medical environment does not just include the lack of money to buy equipment, it also includes the lack of understanding and proper medical education that produces doctors who are not eligible to cure a patient. Even before I realized the core of the problem, I dreamt of becoming a doctor to be able to help such communities.

I want to be able to work with organizations similar to Doctors without Borders who help developing countries lead healthier lives. I want to use the education I receive to educate others in different aspects, so I can help improve their standard of living. As most of the hereditary diseases in developing countries, the disease that my brother was diagnosed with could have been avoided if premarriage tests are properly enforced and necessary precautions are taken. In developing countries, people suffer from numerous diseases due to lack of proper healthcare, and unsanitary living conditions. I want to be able to help both doctors and patients in developing countries to be more knowledgeable so they can lead healthier lives. That is my goal.

Stanford Prompt #4: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better. (250 word limit).

Dear future roommate,
I am Amy Elfar, your new best friend for the next four years. I am Egyptian, and I moved to the US in eighth grade. I have been sharing a room with my older sister ever since I was born, so I am used to sharing a room. I am the organized type, but I would not call myself a neat freak. I can stay up the whole night working on an assignment or studying for a test, so I hope you can sleep with some lights on. I don't mind having visitors over, but not on school nights, sleep is important to me. I like taking long walks, going to the movies with friends, and dining out and trying different kinds of local food. My parents say I am determined, to which I won't disagree. If I make up my mind, it is hard to change it. I am also optimistic. I love volunteering for good causes and helping others. One more interesting fact about me: I've never been to a concert or a play (unless you count school plays). Also, I am scared of roller coasters (which gives my friends and family a chance to mock me).

I am looking forward to going fountain hopping with you. See you soon.
Amy Elfar

Stanford Prompt #5: What matters to you, and why? (250 word limit)
Freedom is what matters to me, freedom to express one's political opinions, to practice the religion one chooses, and all examples of freedom. It is disappointing when people get killed or thrown in jail because they are expressing their ideas without harming others. Even though the US might not have an issue with freedom since it is a right protected by the Bill of Rights, some countries are not fortunate enough to have their rights protected. For example the current situation in the Arab spring. People who try to express their opinions are threatened. In Egypt, anyone who disagrees with the current government or sympathizes with the Muslim Brotherhood is regarded as a terrorist threatening the stability of the nation. Such actions are driven by the citizens' lack of knowledge about their own country, and their lacking ability to identify the real threat to their stability. Living in the US, I have come to realize the importance of freedom and the right to express one's self. It is a right that should be granted to all humans because no one has the right to control another individual's thoughts or beliefs.

Stanford Prompt #2: Please respond to the following seven inquiries so we can get to know you better. Do not feel compelled to use complete sentences.

1. Name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists.
My favorite books are To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. My favorite movies include the Harry Potter series.

2. What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy?
I like reading the New York Times and the Chicago Tribune.

3. What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50 word limit.)
The most significant challenge that society faces today is gun control. Gun control rules are needed to avoid accidents such as the Sandy Hook Elementary school and others. Victims are dying partially because of the lack of restriction on obtaining guns.

4. How did you spend your last two summers? (50 word limit.)
Every summer, we take a family vacation in Wisconsin Dells which I enjoy so much. Tennis is my favorite sport, and I like to play with my brother and friends. Also, watching movies with my friends is a favorite summer activity of mine.

5. What were your favorite events (e.g., performances, exhibits, sporting events, etc.) this past year? (50 word limit.)
Being a Chicago girl I was proud of the Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup for the fifth year. I enjoyed watching the game with my brother who is a strong fan. I saw my school's production of the Wedding Singer last year with my friends.

6. What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? (50 word limit.)
I wish I could have participated in the writing of the constitution. It would have been a great honor to take part in shaping the law for a great nation.

7. What five words best describe you?
Humorous, caring, curious, loud, hardworker
Lydmeister 6 / 17  
Nov 3, 2013   #2
I like your essay topics quite a lot, the one exception being your roommate letter. (I'm really struggling with that one too). It sounds a little superficial right now and doesn't show much of your mastery of the english language. What stuck out to me the most though was the phrase "i like taking long walks". That's great and all but it sounds kind of like a cliche self-description on a dating website or something. Maybe rephrase?

You may in general just want to pick one or two key characteristics about yourself and focus on those for your roommate letter. Pick one or two things that may seem weird, funny, quirky, etc. and turn it on its head to make you seem like a cool person. Delve a little deeper into yourself.

A couple notes on prompt #2:
2. You want everything in this section to be believable and for the most part, down to earth. Try and balance serious elements and fun elements as you did in number one. Do you really read both the Chicago Tribune and the NYTimes regularly? If so, great! But also try to include other things. Do you like the Onion? reddit? seventeen magazine? do you have a blog on tumblr that you love? You can provide an explanation if you think it needs one, but there are very few things that an admissions officer would completely dismiss you for. They want to get to know the real you! (:

3. Yes, gun control is important, but think carefully if this is the most important. Gun violence is a very specific issue. Is there something else at the heart of our society that leads to gun violence? Does some other malicious force pervade our lives? Also, identify what society you are thinking about before you pick your issue. You might want to consider whether or not you are a world citizen before an American citizen. These are just things to think about, but if you truly believe that gun control is the most important thing for our society to tackle, you can still stick with it. Just try to broaden your idea to encompass a little more.

4. They are not asking what you like to do during the summer, they are asking what you did during your summers. Be careful to answer exactly what they are asking.

6. Witnessing is not the same as taking part and the Constitution is more than just a law. Rephrase and you'll be good to go.

7. These are all great characteristics for a Stanford student to posses. But I would change one or two of your chosen words to something more specific. For example, caring to compassionate, loud to extroverted or animated. "Loud" and "Hardworking" are especially vague/superficial. Play with similar words that reveal more about you.

Good luck!


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