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Stanford a Good place for you: its in the people, the mission, the place


jstorm 4 / 8  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
It's in the people." Every connection I have to Stanford is through a person. If people are the product of their environments, then the environment at Stanford has impacted the most engaging individuals I have encountered. What sets Stanford apart is not only its ability to provide an education which centers on innovation and creativity, but foster a community of spirited individuals focused on making an impact in the world. Having the opportunity to debate political issues and explore the ethics of investigative reporting with some of the country's most inquisitive and ambitious individuals this summer, the quality of one's education is greatly enhanced when surrounded by similarly driven individuals. I would enhance the student community with my desire to make real and lasting connections.

"It's in the mission" Community investment entices me; while all universities boast of copious opportunities and extracurricular activities, Stanford places a special focus on fostering strong bonds amongst their international students and acclaimed faculty while addressing the most pressing concerns of the day. Within my own community, individuals have manifested the free and pioneering spirit that characterizes Stanford; they've initiated the growth of Microsoft, started non-profits, and launched community fundraisers. The impact they have created in my own community inspires me that the education Stanford provides is not only one that centers on delving into academia but one that will supply me with the resources and direct my motivation to where I can make my mark in the world.

"It's in the place." I won't deny that growing up pushing cars out of snow banks and trekking to school in negative degree weather, I'll be eager to take advantage of every bike excursion, jaunt to the Ditch, and occasional weekend in the city. Growing up influenced by mother's family's agriculture background, I'll bring my spirit of hospitality and hard work to the Farm.
ailibai 8 / 21  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
What sets Stanford apart is not only its ability to provide an education which centers on innovation and creativity, but also to foster a community of spirited individuals focused on making an impact in the world.

Having the opportunity to debate political issues and explore the ethics of investigative reporting with some of the country's most inquisitive and ambitious individuals this summer, the quality of one's education is greatly enhanced when surrounded by similarly driven individuals.

This sentence is really long, and I don't quite understand. I'm assuming you went to a summer program about reporting? Break it up and clarify!

I won't deny that growing up pushing cars out of snow banks and trekking to school in negative degree weather, I'll bemakes me eager to take advantage of every bike excursion, jaunt to the Ditch, and occasional weekend in the city. GrowingI grew up influenced by my mother's family'snecessary? agricultural background, and I'll bring my spirit of hospitality and hard work to the Farm.

Great use of the Stanford "lingo." It shows that you have taken the time to know the school.
Good job and good luck!
rebrose 8 / 20  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
I like your first paragraph but this sentence confuses me.

Having the opportunity to debate political issues and explore the ethics of investigative reporting with some of the country's most inquisitive and ambitious individuals this summer, the quality of one's education is greatly enhanced when surrounded by similarly driven individuals.

I don't understand why you put "this summer", if you went to a camp at Standford you should elaborate on it.

Community investment entices me

I don't like the word choice of "entices". Maybe put something like "Community investment appeals to me"


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