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"my source of inspiration, my guide and mentor" - My mom's influence COMMON APP


gomoksh 5 / 13  
Nov 7, 2010   #1
Please tell me if the essay needs to be longer...places where i can improve...and rate it the essay highlighting the errors... Do i need to describe the influence of another person...like my father for eg.???

Question-
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Essay-

The most influential person in my life has ensured that as I shoot for the moon, I don't get caught up staring at the stars. Her presence meant that I always had someone to look up to, a shoulder to cry on, and someone who I could ask for advice without hesitation. This person means the world to me. She is none other than my mother, my faithful guide and companion right from the moment I was born.

My mother has always been my greatest supporter. She taught me that hard work is like a vector quantity. It needs not only magnitude but also proper direction. She is the first to recognise any of my talents and encourage me to hone them. Unlike many Indian parents who just want their children to accomplish academic success, my mother wants me to be unique. She supports me in everything I want to do as long as I have an appropriate reason. It is only when she feels that she feels that something isn't in my best interests that she advices me against it. Even then, she leaves the final decision to me.

My mother made me cultivate the habit of reading right from an early age. Every time I performed well in academics or in extra-curricular activities, she would buy me new books, ranging from short exciting novels to books that increased my knowledge. On a slightly different note, my mother is the world's greatest listener. She listens carefully to each thing I tell her such as my problems, plans for the future and even trivial things such as things that happened at school and offers me the best pieces of advice.

My mother made me realize that everyone makes mistakes but that mistakes aren't meant to be repeated. I remember the time when I performed poorly in my mathematics examination in the 10th grade. Math had been my strong subject until then, but I had been over confident before the exam and hadn't revised properly, and this lead to a bad score. I was extremely scared when I brought my corrected answer sheet home, fearing that my mother would punish me, but her reaction mildly surprised me. Instead of admonishing me, she carefully analyzed my paper, and pointed out the concepts I needed to work on. She also made me reflect on the time I had wasted before the exam and asked me to tell her frankly if I thought I had given my best. I was unable to answer. I had learnt my lesson. I would never disappoint her again. Over the next month, she put in a lot of efforts to help me get my basic concepts right. All our hard work bore fruit as I cleared the class X board exam as the school topper and scored 99% in math.

My mother has always been there to share both my happiest moments and saddest memories. She taught me that happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light. She has truly been the most influential person in my life. She has been my best friend, my source of inspiration, my guide and mentor. I look up to her with love, trust and pride.
amber0605 1 / 7  
Nov 7, 2010   #2
My mother made me realiserealize that everyone makes mistakes but thatthose mistakes aren't meant to be repeated.

Instead of admonishing me, she carefully analysedanalyzed my paper, and pointed ...

I had learnt learned my lesson.

This is a good start, although I feel you should elaborate it more. You don't have to include your father if you are only speaking about your mother. The middle paragraph is to condensed. Please re read it over, I am not the best essay writer, but I have corrected some words that were written wrong.

With these types of topics, you can't go wrong on how a person has made a significance on your life. Please express it more though, your mom must have been there for you in other times other then assisting you with your math problems.
OP gomoksh 5 / 13  
Nov 9, 2010   #3
thanks a lot...i have added a new paragraph to the essay and made changes where you had told me to...tell me if this is fine or need further tweaking...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 16, 2010   #4
The most influential person in my life has ensured that as I shoot for the moon without getting caught up staring at the stars.

She supports me in everything I want to do as long as I have an appropriate reason. ----very good sentence!

hahahahm this one is my favorite: On a slightly different note, my mother is the world's greatest listener.

Hey, I cannot find mistakes to correct, and I do not want to suggest any changes to the style of writing. You have a very good style already. It must be because of all the books your mom made you read!


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