Rising above in MCJROTC (the Naval Academy / character development and integrity)

Hello to all as I'm new to this website.This essay has gone through many revision from various people but I would like one more just to be completely sure before I send this in.So enjoy and comment as you see fit!!!

In a well-organized essay of 300 to 500 words, please discuss the following:
(1)
Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and

(2)
Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.

My interest in Naval service began in my 8th grade year, watching those military advertisements on television. The ads made those men and women serving our country look so indomitable and courageous . The following year upon registering for high school my mother and I noticed that the school had a Marine JROTC program which I happily signed up to attend. Being part of the MCJROTC program, was one of the best choices I've made in my life thus far. I learned more about the Marine Corps than I ever though possible and developed a lengthy bond with many other cadets. JROTC taught me how to be a better leader and a better person. Since the end of my freshman year I knew I would somehow make military service a career.

Unfortunately during my junior year I lost my focus and my standing in my platoon as well as with my Marine Instructor. I accepted a promotion that I wasn't truly ready for and I also foolishly passed up N.A.S.S. and Boy State for myself also. I was practically on the verge of despair but my M.I. never gave up on me, which enabled me to persevere past failure. I had spent so much time worrying about how to be a good leader that I never tried to lead my way. Upon realizing this I stopped emulating the other platoon commanders and as a result I worked vigorously to be a better leader and example for my peers. I learned that every leader leads differently and not every person can be led the same way. That summer after my junior year we had our summer Advance Leadership Camp, which I went to and performed better as a leader and cadet overall as opposed to the school year. I managed to gain back the respect of my M.I. as well as my fellow cadets, which was an uphill battle in itself. My growth and change is leadership style is what earned me my following promotion. Many people have put their faith in me and I won't let them down but most importantly I won't let myself down ever again.

I know that the military is best suited for me and that I can't see myself enjoying life doing anything else. I choose USNA for reasons beyond just wanting a superb education. USNA will push me to my limits so that I may redefine them and continue to grow into a confident strong young man of character. Becoming an officer for either the Navy or Marine Corps would be a great honor and would repay the magnificent program and instructors that I wouldn't even be the same young man without. I owe it to myself to give my all and more at the academy. Even if I don't go this fall I'll keep fighting for a spot next year because perseverance is what MCJROTC has instilled in me, along with respect for my country,comradery,pride and humility.

The following year upon registering for high school, my mother and I noticed that the school had a Marine JROTC program which I happily signed up for .

Being part of the MCJROTC program, ---no comma here.

... than I ever though possible and developed a strong bond with many other cadets.

I accepted a promotion that I wasn't truly ready for and I also foolishly passed up N.A.S.S. and Boy State for myself. also.

I had spent so much time worrying about how to be a good leader that I never tried to lead my own way.

My growth and change in leadership style is what earned me my following promotion.

Many people have put their faith in me and I won't let them down, but most importantly I won't let myself down ever again.

USNA will push me to my limits so that I may redefine them and continue to grow into a confident strong young man of character. --good sentence!

Nicely done! Good luck in school.
:)