I am writing a career essay for my application to the radiography program for college. I am looking for feedback on it please. Thank you!!
Shortly towards the end of my senior year in high school, I started to think about what it was that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I began to thumb through the local community college catalog looking at my options. Radiology was always the number one choice that stood out. I wanted to be sure that I was making the right decision, so I applied for a position at a outpatient Radiology clinic. After starting that job, I never looked at a different occupation again. I was intrigued by the different modalities. I immediately knew that this was something that I wanted to make a career out of, I could definitely see myself doing this long term, and enjoying it. I am greatly motivated to accomplishing this goal in my lifetime.
I would like to pursue a career in Radiography at Adventist University of Health Sciences because it is something that I feel passionately about. For the last 7 years, I have been working in the Radiology field in a support services position in which I thoroughly enjoyed. I have learned a great deal of information during scheduling exams, procedures, as well as aiding technologists in exam rooms. Being that close to my target career has given me a lot of insight about the job. I believe that studying at Adventist University will not only help mold and improve my compassionate and nurturing characteristics but will also assist me in my strive to serve others. I fell strongly about my future goals. I hope to be able to learn all aspects about Radiography while at ADU. After graduating I would like to gain some real life experience as a technologist before returning to study for my B.S. in Radiologic Sciences. My final goal would be direct a successful and thriving Radiology Department that exceeds patients expectations while in our care.
In the field of Radiology, I feel that technologists should be dedicated to always keeping up to date in this constant changing world of technology. I feel that I am a great candidate for the Radiography program seeing as how I am a very eager to learn new things, take initiative in life and adapt well to change. I am also a friendly and outgoing person, as well as someone who is also very organized, and detail oriented. My past work experiences has given me first hand understanding of working in stressful situations. I believe that has actually helped me thrive when under pressure, and feel that I work best when in a fast paced environment. These are some great qualities that make a great technologist, I feel I exhibit these already in everyday life.
Radiology is an important piece in the healthcare system. These technologists contribute in many ways by being a key aspect in the diagnosis and treatment of an array of diseases. They provide a support system through their work to help assist doctors in monitoring and predicting their patients outcomes. Radiologic technologist training gives them a multitude of different imaging specialties that contribute to today's healthcare.
By pursing my education at Adventist University, I feel I will not only receive a top notch education, but it will also aid me to excel and become a leader in life. I think that this institution's values will influence my contributions to success. I believe that studying at ADU will give me a foundation that I can use to grow professionally as well as personally in my future endeavors.
Hi :) Nice job on your essay, you are a very good writer. I think that you have done well presenting yourself as a mature individual with solid plans for the future. There are specific things that the college wants to see in an admissions essay: That you are a person with a plan, a career plan specifically (which can revolve around your other interests and hobbies), also they want to know how college will help you achieve that plan, tell them your short term and long term goals, and how college will help you reach your goals. Saying this, you have done all of these things in your essay, so that is pretty awesome! Impressive. If I could suggest anything, I would say double check your wording, because some sentences sound a bit wordy, find a way to be more concise, because it makes the paper "flow" better. that's pretty easy to do :) Good luck in school.
