Prompt:
We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. We are particularly interested in knowing:
What motivated you to apply to NYU?
Why you have applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and/or area of study?
If you have applied to more than one, please tell us why you are interested in each of the campuses, schools, colleges, or programs to which you have applied.
Why NYU? (400 word maximum)
I have a tendency to ramble and add in unnecessary phrases. Please help me condense my writing, as to cut down the word count - which needs to be reduced by 300 words.
CURRENT WORD COUNT: 700
Thank you!!
Why my parents were so confused as to why it was a process for me to conform to change is a question within itself. I have lived in the heart of world, the birthplace of diversity, the big apple, New York City, for my entire life. I have lived in the same city, on the same street, in the same apartment, on the same floor, my entire life. I have woken up every morning at 6:45am, looked out my window at the Grand Central, to assess how late I can leave, gotten dressed according to the unsteady NYC weather, and waited for the Q69, my blue limo to drop me off two blocks from my all-girls, NYC public school.
This routine, the long waits for the MTA, and the loud mornings, drove me to believe that I wanted to "escape" NYC. But, after a summer away, with no public transportation, and many trees, I was quickly unconvinced. I realized that NYC runs in my veins, it is my home. Reflecting on this revelation, the plausible thought was that if I was going to stay in NYC, I was going to dedicate my whole self, and immerse myself in everything that the city has to offer me. What better a place to do this in than New York University?
NYU's portrays the melting pot of cultures that New York City is. It offers its' students social atmosphere, academic rigor, and prime location that is essential to creating an effective and motivated student body. Coming from Queens, and specifically, Astoria, the appearance of the eight types of diversity within my surrounding are imperative to the growth of my education and personality. I did not have to even walk into a building to experience the abundance of diversity, not just within the city, but within the community of NYU students. In a diverse environment, such as thing one, students educate one another in ways that typical classroom situations do not. Knowing that NYU has such an engaging community of students, I am ecstatic about the idea of joining that group of talented students from all over the world, as to gain knowledge of their different cultures, interests, perspectives, and beliefs. Aside from the diversity that NYU offers its' students, the academic rigor, is incomparable to other universities across the world.
Professor taught classes, ranging in studies from psychology to the origins of mathematics, with hands on experience, and real world lessons, those are the types of classes provided to NYU students. In my research, I have found that NYU is the perfect fit for who I am as a student, but also for what I plan on studying. With an expansion of their mathematics and science fields, there have been impressive updates to the facilities for Computer Science students, including world-class facilities in theoretical computer science, computer security, databases, computer systems, and many more fields. I not only plan on majoring in Computer Science, but also in their Neural Science program. I personally find it intriguing how to make applications, games, and other important updates through the major of computer science, often students need to understand how someone thinks to make it user-friendly, which is where neural science plays in. I have learned over time that programming and science related fields require the same logical and level headed approach that most everyday problems do. The sciences have helped me to gain patience, determination, and ultimately, a focus. This intellectual stimulation, along with my desire to discover more about the world and what I have to offer, has compelled me to pursue a career in the STEM fields.
In my endeavors, I have created not only a sense of how rigorous NYU's academics are, but also how supportive, and engaging of an environment this university has created. I know, as a determined, ambitious, and easily adaptable person, that I would thrive in this environment that the students, faculty and staff of NYU have created. I would be proud to become apart of that legacy and help build upon the brilliant things that happen everyday in the Big Apple.
Hi Brittany, I revised your essay and cut out some parts to come up with 376 words. Here's hoping you like the edits I made :-)
I have lived in the same city, on the same street, in the same apartment, on the same floor, my entire life. I have woken up every morning at 6:45am, looked out my window at the Grand Central, to assess how late I can leave, gotten dressed according to the unsteady NYC weather, and waited for the Q69, my blue limo to drop me off two blocks from my all-girls, NYC public school.
NYU is in the center of the melting pot culture of New York City .Coming from Queens, Astoria, the appearance of eight types of diversity within my surroundings are imperative to the growth of my education and personality. In a diverse environment, such as thing one, students educate one another in ways that typical classroom situations do not. Knowing that NYU has such an engaging community of students, I am ecstatic about the idea of joining that group of talented students from all over the world, as to gain knowledge of their different cultures, interests, perspectives, and beliefs.
Professor taught classes, ranging in studies from psychology to the origins of mathematics, with hands on experience, and real world lessons, those are the types of classes provided to NYU students. With an expansion of the mathematics and science fields at NYU, there have been impressive updates to the facilities for Computer Science students, including world-class facilities in theoretical computer science, computer security, databases, computer systems, and many more fields. I not only plan on majoring in Computer Science, but also in their Neural Science program.I have learned over time that programming and science related fields require the same logical and level headed approach that most everyday problems do. The sciences have helped me to gain patience, determination, and ultimately, a focus. This intellectual stimulation, along with my desire to discover more about the world and what I have to offer, has compelled me to pursue a career in the STEM fields at NYU.
I know, as a determined, ambitious, and easily adaptable person, that I would thrive in this environment that the students, faculty and staff of NYU have created. I would be proud to become apart of that legacy and help build upon the brilliant things that happen everyday in the Big Apple.
Brittany, you are very lucky to have Louisa take on the challenge of
meeting the word count for your essay, this actually led me to question,
you have the word count restriction, why did you still come up with
about 700 words on you essay. The answer, you were not answering the
prompt with direct answers or straight forward ideas towards the prompt.
The key to meeting word count restrictions and still creating a well written essay is,
keep in mind what the essay is all about, what do you think will lead you to come up
with the answer of the prompt. Be direct and precise to what the essay is asking you to write,
also, be conscious with the word count while pouring
all your ideas in writing and lastly, as much as you mind the word count, make sure that you
are still giving the essay, the best answer you can possibly provide.
I hope to read the revised essay soon.
