This is my second post of this essay, with some minor changes. If people could give comments or suggestions that be great!
My life has been anything but ordinary. My mom was living in her hometown Managua, Nicaragua with my two older brothers, Noel and Gabriel, when she met my dad, who was and is still working at the US Embassy as a Foreign Service officer. Three years later, on an early summer day, Maria Victoria Arguello Creamer, or as my family knows me, Yaya, was born in Falls Church, Virginia.
The first year of my life, my family lived six months in Reston, Virginia and six months in Boston until we were sent to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. On the flight to Haiti, there were two nuns, four journalists, and my family. Enough said. I don't remember much about Haiti, but I was told within the first 24 hours I got sick, power was on only eight hours a day, and I spoke the native Creole fluently. In 1994, my little brother and best friend Carlos was born. After Haiti, we were sent to the bustling city Buenos Aires, Argentina. My best memories of Argentina were developing a strong love for soccer, and swimming. While attending the French school, every recess I was the only skirt running up and down the dirt soccer field, pushing the boys down and scoring goals. Till this day, there's no better feeling than fighting to put the ball at the back of the net. On the weekends, I lived in the pool in my backyard. I'd swim and splash around so much my parents would call me "un pescadito", which in Spanish means "little fish".
After living three great years in Buenos Aires, once again we had to move. By my seventh birthday, I was living in Virginia. From first to seventh grade, I had many ups and downs. My ups included my love for sports. I joined competitive leagues such as WAGS soccer, Cudas swim team, and AAU basketball. Due to sports, I became a strong leader, fiercely competitive, and a team player who valued self-discipline. Other than sports I lived a typical American child hood, catching fire flies in July and building snow forts in January with my friends. My downs were when my older brother Noel left to live with his biological father in Nicaragua, and when he later enlisted in the US Marines. My family and I suffered tremendously, but with time, it made all of us, including my brother, appreciate one another more.
In 2006, we moved to Bogota, Colombia. Being a 14 year old drama queen, I felt leaving my life and friend's was the end of world. With time I grew up and realized that by assimilating into Colombia, I would live once in a life time experiences and build lasting friendships. I revitalized my Latino roots through music and food, and perfected my Spanish. Colombia also took me away from a fairytale view on the world, and opened my eyes to poverty and war. From my school, houses made of tin metal, mud and cardboard could be spotted with an entire family and a scrawny pet dog barely scrapping by to survive. As the poor struggled, the higher class families also suffered due to the rebellion of the FARC guerillas against the Colombian government. Stories of bombs on buses, kidnappings, and murder dominated Colombian news channels.
On my 17th birthday, I moved from Bogota to my current home La Paz, Bolivia. Finishing my last two years in this unique country, where I saw my first Cholita (indigenous women) carrying her aguayo, a colorful cloth bag perfectly holding her baby. In my new school, I continue playing sports, being a starter on both the varsity basketball and soccer teams. I've also discovered new passions in fashion and theatre. I've worked onstage and backstage in fashion shows, modeled in fashion magazines, worked as a fashion stylist, and took part in my school play. Fashion and theatre have taught me to never conform to society, and to never be afraid of being myself.
I believe these qualities, as well as my multi-cultural background, makes me uniquely prepared to take advantage of the VCU experience.
On the flight to Haiti, there were two nuns, four journalists, and my family. Enough said.---This is great writing!
To this day, there's no better feeling than fighting to put the ball at the back of the net.
On the weekends, I lived in the pool in my back yard .
Aside from sports, I lived a typical American childhood , catching fire flies in July and building snow forts in January with my friends.
Colombia also took away my fairytale view of the world, and opened my eyes to poverty and war.
You're an amazing writer, and have quite a wonderful way with words and a great sense of humor; "On the weekends, I lived in the pool in my backyard." and ".. every recess I was the only skirt running up and down the dirt soccer field, pushing the boys down and scoring goals." Good luck in school, and have fun!
:)
I have a question, is the prompt asking for page 87 of your autobiography? Cause if it is, you're autobiography is supposed to be fairly long and detailed, and the piece you're writing's meant to be somewhere close to the middle/end/late beginning. This reads a bit like the first page of a two page autobiography. And also basing my interpretation on the topic I stated, I don't think the last line of the essay has any right to be in your autobiography.
I think this is the perfect opportunity to highlight ONE event in your life, and in a lot of narrative detail. And if you feel you absolutely have to, add personal accomplishments in as a throwaway, like 'All of a sudden, my place on the basketball team, my ___, didn;t matter any more, when I saw _____.'(or something that trivializes it less) Perhaps something you said about Bogota? Cause it just doesn't fit the topic right now.
If I've got the topic wrong, though. and it's meant to be a summary of your life, it's too impersonal. This seems like a biography; it's too surfacial in nature(is that even a word?)... I think you need to touch deeper to touch the AO.
Hope I helped?
