Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?
A few months ago, a Brown admissions officer made a ceremonious visit to my high school. She likened the Brown education to Odysseus' monolithic and tortuous journey home to Ithaca. Hearing this, every checkbox for my ideal university was ticked. With Brown's lack of core curriculum, I can design my very own meandering academic adventure. At Brown, the education I receive does not end with a diploma, but with a blossomed and mature character like Odysseus' after his eventful journey home. In addition, Brown students are not pedants; they are intellects with panache and flair, who engage in interests outside of academics. Perfect examples include Brown's "International Ambassadorship Program" which aims to increase the socioeconomic diversity of Brown, the "Spring Weekend" concerts which have drawn classic acts like Elvis Costello and Ella Fitzgerald in the past, and some other lighthearted acts such as rubbing the statue of John Hay for good luck and Brown Band's anachronistic yet euphonic performance of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
"Hearing this, every checkbox for my ideal university was ticked."-i get what you are saying, but this could be clearer
"With Brown's lack of core curriculum"
-"lack" has a negative connotation, you might want to reword it. it reads as if brown falls short of something.
"At Brown, the education I receive does not end with a diploma, but with a blossomed and mature character like Odysseus' after his eventful journey home."-you need to have more concrete reasons than this. I understand that you are trying to correlate Brown and Odysseus, but be realistic. The education you receive at Brown will end with a diploma, unless you don't finish or plan to stay there as a student after you've graduated. If you meant something else, then say that.
panache and flair are synonymous, choose one.
"Perfect examples include Brown's "International Ambassadorship Program" which aims to increase the socioeconomic diversity of Brown, the "Spring Weekend" concerts which have drawn classic acts like Elvis Costello and Ella Fitzgerald in the past, and some other lighthearted acts such as rubbing the statue of John Hay for good luck and Brown Band's anachronistic yet euphonic performance of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit"."
-The college is not asking you to list things about it. They want to know how these things apply to you. Everything you say about Brown in this essay should supported by a "This is is important to me, because"-like statement. Brown admissions knows Brown, they are trying to get to know you.
Hope I helped :)
Here is my answer to the other short answer question:
Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest questions above?
My desire to study human biology and become a scientific researcher arises from my condition of single-sided sensorineural deafness. Time and time again I have consulted audiologists and specialists and been met with the same diffident apology. This is an answer I am not satisfied with. I hope that my endeavors at Brown studying human biology will allow me change that apology to a positive answer.
My other interest is media and culture, both as a concentration at Brown and as a potential career. I have a deep-rooted fascination of certain musicians such as Pink Floyd and The Beach Boys, and Romantic poets such as John Keats, all of whom have influenced my perception of the world. Through studying Modern Culture and Media at Brown, I strive to better understand how humans are affected by media, whether it be written as poetry or sung as a song, and how this media shapes modern culture.
Nice...just make sure you are clear...write as if your audience has no idea what your are writing about.
I have a deep-rooted fascination of certain musicians such as Pink Floyd and The Beach Boys, and Romantic poets such as John Keats, all of whom have influenced my perception of the world.
==> Don't write general. I think it is better to write how they influence you, in what ways?
^Thanks basketball. Here's that section revised:
My other interest is media and culture, both as a concentration at Brown and as a potential career. I have a deep-rooted fascination of how certain records such as Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album changed modern music, and how Romantic poets such as John Keats began a philosophical revolution through words on a page. Through studying Modern Culture and Media at Brown, I strive to better understand how humans are affected by media, whether it be written as poetry or sung as a song, and how this media shapes modern culture.
Much better man :)
Did you meet the word limit?
Hey thanks... I'm 935/1000 characters for that essay.
