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NYU SUPPLEMENT- In n Out, Socratic Seminars, Sewing (badly)


karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
It seems like alot of writing, but it's short I promise! Help me and I'll try my best to help you. Any and all criticism is appreciated.

1. Why NYU?

You've never been to California unless you've had an In-n-Out hamburger. The succulent delicacy known as the double-double is the pride and joy of the Golden State. Lucky for me, I live close to the run-down original building and the grandiose In-n-Out University (yes, it really does exist!), so I get to enjoy the delicious burgers on a regular basis.

As much as I love to order a number one with ketchup, mustard, and grilled onions only, I've found that In-n-Out symbolizes the downfalls of suburbia. If my friends and I get bored, our options are the mall, the movies, or In-n-Out. The original restaurant is the only "historical site" at my immediate disposal, and visiting different In-n-Out locations isn't my idea of seeing the world.

The lack of opportunity and perspective in the suburbs has led me to fill out this application to NYU. I envision my college experience taking place in New York and abroad, an experience that would allow me to conquer the intellectual and personal challenge of adapting and thriving in a globalized world. The study abroad opportunities at NYU will allow me to achieve this goal, whether I am in Greenwich Village, Abu Dhabi, Paris, or elsewhere. I am dedicated to pursuing my education while gaining experiences to shape how I view myself and the world around me, even if doing so doesn't involve In-n-Out hamburgers.

2. Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice. (I chose New York without portal schools because I won't be old enough to qualify)

"Alright guys, put the desks into two circles; we're going to have a Socratic Seminar."

Whenever Mr. Sanford uttered these words at the beginning of AP World History class, nearly every student grunted in disapproval. "This is so unbelievably stupid and pointless" was the usual complaint, with the occasional "Socrates must have been really lame."

I'm glad to say that I wasn't one of the angsty. In fact, I was one of the A's in the Triple A Rule. The Triple A Rule (or A Cubed) involved Austin, Austin, and Ang (the second Austin is my twin sister). During a Socratic Seminar, the three A's could not talk directly after one another. With a class full of shy and/or apathetic students, the wait to speak was long and frustrating, so A Cubed was quite annoying.

Eventually, I found the silver lining. Though I couldn't talk as much as I would have liked, the restriction enabled me to think critically about the cause and effect relationship of events in the past and how they relate to the present. Subsequently, I developed a newfound respect for history and world cultures. I am unsure if either will become my major, but I want to begin my exploration of culture and history in New York in order to experience the diverse facets of the city and America itself. By my second year, I want to study at any portal campus in order to have first-hand exposure to the histories and cultures of the nations and people I read about in my textbooks.

3. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

At the end of 8th grade, my dad bought me a sewing machine, expecting I'd be a seamstress like my grandma. I did too, so I ordered The Complete Photo Guide to Sewing, hoping to channel my inner designer.

It quickly became apparent that Coco Chanel would not be reincarnated as Karissa Austin. I tend to spew out tangled contraptions that can not be considered wearable, let alone stylish. Regardless, I keep my sewing book around because it's one of the few objective things in my life. When I attempt to follow a new dress pattern, the book's procedure is black and white: cut out the brown tissue paper, fold the fabric, pin, cut, sew, and, if I'm lucky, the end product will be fashionable. Though this process has helped me spawn several horrendous garments, it has also sparked my intrigue in the contrast between logic and expression, the difference between the left and right brain, so to speak. For example, if I look at sleek architecture, I wonder how the beams and welding created the building, but I also wonder what the architect was trying to express. If I read a poem, I consider the functional purpose of punctuation and form, but I also consider the aesthetic flow. If I look at a dress, I visualize the individual pieces and how they're put together, but I also visualize the designer's inspiration.

Am I eternally plagued with being a mediocre seamstress? Probably, but at least my sewing book has helped me explore contrasts beyond clothes.

Thanks! :D
singh955 7 / 36  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
All of your responses are very interesting and personal. From my opinion, this is exactly what the AO's are looking for.
carochoi 3 / 22  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
Coming from CA as well, I loved your first essay. It was definitely a great read (I'm trying not to be biased, but I guess I am..) You might want to be more specific in your first essay regarding studying abroad. Give the AO's a few countries that you want to might want to study in! The more details, the better. Overall, nice writing style. Good luck!

It would be great if you could look over my NYU supplements as well. Thanks!
Strawberry78 4 / 52  
Dec 29, 2011   #4
1st:
Choose a different anecdote. It does not seem strong enough to convey your conclusion.

2nd:
How you got from not talking to thinking critically is not strong enough. Elaborate more on that.

3rd:
Since functionalism and expressionism can be one in the same, try saying how since you did not achieve the functional part of your garment, the expressive part came out mediocre.
ashatan 4 / 25  
Dec 29, 2011   #5
Wow. This is amazing- the topics are unique, catchy, and at the same time portray a great and interesting personality. This is just what they are looking for! I love the first one, just brush up on the grammar a bit; The second one I feel like you could focus a bit less on the details and more on the actual message, which is only expressed hurriedly in the last few sentences. the third is also great, and I just love its conclusion. Great job, and good luck!
OP karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 29, 2011   #6
Ashatan:
It's been a struggle to get across detail and my "message" with only 1500 characters to work with! Thank you for your feedback.
worried26 1 / 23  
Dec 29, 2011   #7
Wow, very interesting and creative answers! I like it a lot!

However, for the the first response, I think you should talk more about what else NYU has specifically to offer. Maybe about particular programs they have. Think about what else makes NYU unique!

For the second response, I think you should talk more about why this subject is of interest to you. What about it makes is so interesting?

Third response looks perfect to me!

Good luck! :) Oh, and please look at my essay if you can! I'd appreciate it!
arbrelibre 5 / 27  
Dec 29, 2011   #8
1- good.
2- good, although I agree with one of the above posters in saying that you need to clear up your message and forgo some of the extra details.

3- I'd definitely rework that last sentence. Or, at least, add another sentence on.

Overall, good job answering the prompts.

Good luck with your application.
mdubs777 4 / 8  
Dec 29, 2011   #9
These are amazing... just tidy up the grammar in a couple areas and you should be good to go
insanesoul81994 10 / 30  
Dec 29, 2011   #10
Nice essays! One thing though if I were you I wouldn't use contractions in my essays because its not a formal way of writing.
Jerlynn 3 / 26  
Dec 29, 2011   #11
It's a good read but i think the first one you need to focus more on NYU. I like how you started with CA and then moved on to NY. But i think you need a little more emphasis on NYU there. I love your third one though!

PS: You mentioned on my thread on grammar probs. Can you pls help me to point out where I went wrong? I have much probs with grammar. Will be eternally grateful if you can help.
workinprogress 1 / 12  
Dec 29, 2011   #12
1--I really enjoy the humor in the first sentence. It's unique and really interesting, maybe you could focus on NYU more though (:
2--I thought this had its own unique sense of individualism, but I felt as if your message was not as strong as it could be. I felt like you elaborated more on what happened in your cool history class.

3--Very well written. (:
Best of luck!
music920 6 / 23  
Dec 29, 2011   #13
To be honest, I found myself very entertained as I read all three of your responses - great job! You did an excellent job of conveying your personality, and you've managed to incorporate a touch of humor which I really liked.

Also... woooo shout out to In-n-Out! Your first essay was my favorite (can you tell I'm from California too?). While I loved how you managed to make that essay work, even with the quirky topic, I think you should make the background information on your town a little shorter so you have more space to elaborate on what other specific features of NYU really make this college stand out for you!

The second and third responses were also quite well done, but again, maybe try and shorten up some of the background/intro writing you have so you have more room to talk more about your interests/what makes you tick - because that's the part of your responses those AOs really care about in my opinion.

Overall though, awesome job - all your responses were a fun read. (:

PS.
It would be hugely appreciated if you could check out mine - thanks!
muznaa23 4 / 15  
Dec 29, 2011   #14
1. I like the anecdote and way you incorporated it into the essay
2. You need to talk a little more about how the portal campuses. Maybe try specifically talking about a certain program at a specific portal that intrigues you.

3. I think it looks good!

Good Luck! :)
Cleopatra 8 / 22  
Dec 29, 2011   #15
1- very interesting! i like your choice of story but even though you should keep it personal, try to re-write it in a fashion that doesn't come across as informal. Great job!

2- I don't understand the relation to Socrates + AP World History to wanting to explore the world in NYC. Also, the prompt wants you to talk about an area of academic interest rather than you wanting to travel to learn. I think you should either a- chose another anecdote that represents something that interests you or you found fascinating that was academic or b- eliminate your last paragraph and somehow relate your class and the ancient greek society to something you would find interesting to study

3-I'm really upset because this is really interesting but I'm sorry to say this has nothign to do with the prompt! You need to show that a piece of work or artwork or literature, etc. affected you, not an object! The sewing machine, as I have understood, is your inspiration and it cannot justify as artwork because it's not! Try talking about a dress (artwork) or how a story in history (literature) that deals with COCO chanel or your grandmother or another famous seamstress/designed was affected and talk about its impact on you.

I like your stories, they're all upbeat, personal, and fun but you need to stay on topic and avoid straying from your prompt. Yes, we need to get to know about you but you need to do so by responding to the questions.

Good luck, though! I hope you get what you're aiming for :)
OP karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 29, 2011   #16
Socratic seminar is a form of discussion that we did in the class. I'm not talking about Socrates. Also, the question asked about my academic interests and how I want to pursue them at NYU (by traveling to learn). In the last one, I'm talking about the sewing book, not the sewing machine. It said I could address a book, so I picked that one. Thanks for your feedback, just thought I would clarify.
Cleopatra 8 / 22  
Dec 29, 2011   #17
Oh okay.. well if you know what you're doing then that's great but if that's the case then try to avoid ambiguity because, maybe it was just me, but I obviously misunderstood or strayed from your point while reading it.

Good luck!
bookbug_xd 8 / 24  
Dec 29, 2011   #18
These responses are unique, witty, and personal. I think they're very good and you'd probably catch the Admissions Officers off guard!
I know the space is limited, but i think you successfully incorporated your personality in these anecdotes, however insignificant they may seem to others!
sarahbee 1 / 49  
Dec 29, 2011   #19
i agree with the posters above, your topics are eye-catching and interesting! i really enjoyed them all!
hamzaobaid 2 / 9  
Dec 29, 2011   #20
Really nice essays, cant find any flaws. Good Luck !

P.S Please read my essay. I'll read yours in return. Thanks :)
lwest94 3 / 8  
Dec 29, 2011   #21
For the third:

I tend to spew out tangled contraptions that can not be considered wearable

If possible, I would choose a word other than "contraption". I don't think it really means what you are trying to express.

But great essays!

Read mine?


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