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Northwestern attracts me with its robust economics programme, renowned professors in the faculty


chickpig 9 / 26  
Dec 20, 2008   #1
Hello,

this is another essay of mine. Please take some time to help me look through. Thanks in advance!

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

First and foremost, Northwestern attracts me with its robust economics programme with its renowned professors in the faculty. As I am deeply interested in economics, Northwestern would be able to provide a great platform for me to pursue my interest. I am particularly interested in economics because to me life revolves around economics. Everyday, we see economics and make use of economics, whether in making choices bearing in mind opportunity costs or in the purchase of goods and services involving demand and supply. Economics is a beautiful subject which forms the foundation of how we work, live and play. As such, I am compelled to pursue an economics degree in a university with an excellent economics faculty; Northwestern is thus a natural choice for me.

With that interest in economics, I intend to take every available opportunity seriously to pursue the subject. I intend to immerse myself in the wide array of programmes that Northwestern provides. The Kellogg Business Certificate, internships at various business institutions, the study abroad programme and the Undergraduate Leadership programme are just a few to name. As I hope to pursue an all-rounded interdisciplinary education, these programmes will allow me to further my academic interests and help to shape my character at the same time.

Next, I value Northwestern's student diversity as well. It is my belief that a myriad of cultures would add value to the learning experience in any institution. I excited at the prospect of being able to interact with students coming from all over the world and would want to learn more about them and their cultures. In the globalised 21st century, a knowledge of people from multiple nationalities would render one more aware as a global citizen and broaden one's global perspective. It is my hope that I would benefit from such a rich melting pot of cultures at Northwestern and would be eager to contribute to the diverse study body as an international student coming from Singapore.

Last but definitely not the least, the multiplicity of extra curriculars at Northwestern amazes me. Northwestern caters to the interests of all students and allows one to set up an interest club or society easily. As I believe in an all-rounded education, non-academics are as important to me when considering Northwestern as my choice of university. Student groups such as AIESEC, Alternative Student Breaks, Associated Student Government, Northwestern University Singaporeans and Friends, Operation Smile, Outing Club and Peace Project interest me. There are simply too many exciting student groups which allow me to pursue my interest in community service and student leadership. With my ready experience in these aspects, I hope to take some of these student organisations to greater heights in future.

With Northwestern's excellence in both academic and non-academic fields as well as the diverse student body it offers, I am certain that Northwestern is an institution which perfectly suits my interests and would be a learning experience for me that would be wholeheartedly treasured for life.
batdoi 2 / 5  
Dec 20, 2008   #2
Hi, I think this is a good essay. The ideas are fine already. You show that you have a good understanding of Northwestern, and I think it's personal enough for the reader to see your interest in the school.

Now are some areas I think you can improve:
+ Grammar: I have never been good at grammar, so I'll just correct some errors that stand out. Someone may jump in and do the rest, sorry mate.

"I excited at the prospect of..." => should be "I am excited about"

"Last but definitely not the least" => remove "the"

"in future. " => "in THE future"

"would be eager to contribute to the diverse study body" => you mean "student body"???

"whether in making choices bearing in mind opportunity costs or in the purchase of goods and services involving demand and supply" => I just sense something wrong grammatically with this sentence, but I can't correct it

+ organization: I do have an impression that this kind of resembles a traditional SAT-style essay. I know you are a straightforward person and it's shown in your writing - I'm one too. But you can try to make the essay more interesting and lively by adopting more varied expressions and word choices. For instance, instead of saying this:

"Student groups such as AIESEC, Alternative Student Breaks, Associated Student Government, Northwestern University Singaporeans and Friends, Operation Smile, Outing Club and Peace Project interest me"

try this:

"I dream of living in such a diverse student body, and just imagining that I will one day participate in Northwestern University Singaporeans and Friends, Operation Smile, Outing Club (blah blah) at Northwestern already makes me feel part of the Northwestern community."

=> makes your sentence sound more enthusiastic and passionate.

Of course some other parts of the essay can also be improved with this approach. Sorry for the generic comment but I think you got the idea. An essay reflects your thoughts and your personality, so I won't try to make you change your essay the way I think it should be, and I'll just leave it to your creativity.

My two cent :D
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 20, 2008   #3
Hello!

These are some good suggestions from batdoi. Also, I want to add that you should respond more to this part of the prompt:

[unique qualities of] the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying.

You need to do some research. Talk online with current students, and read about the school, and come up with unique qualities of the undergrad school. Do you know any faculty members within this undergrad school?
OP chickpig 9 / 26  
Dec 21, 2008   #4
thanks for the great suggestions batdoi (:

Hmm, the problem with northwestern is that their website didn't provide enough information regarding the specific undergrad schoool. I don't know any faculty members. I think I'll try asking current students then.
batdoi 2 / 5  
Dec 21, 2008   #5
the reasons you like one college are not necessarily all related to academics. You can look beyond facts (well-known economics department, abundance of student organizations, etc.) and talk about personal aspects (social life, atmosphere...) that make you like Northwestern. Of course it'll be great if you can ask current students directly. In addition, I suggest searching on

unigo.com
talk.collegeconfidential.com
studentsreview.com

these are huge and brilliant sites of reviews of colleges written by current students and alumni. School websites are the most reliable sources of official, "hard" facts, but most of the time they don't really tell you much about personal aspects of their schools.


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