Someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why
On a daily basis, one person has always chastised me for all the wrong things I do and never complimented me for the good I have accomplished. I noticed the relationship I have between my mother and I is a love hate relationship like every other daughter or son may say, but in my situation I claim this relationship as the true definition of what a love hate relationship should be. My mom is an impact in my every day life as she helps influence my next decision every second even though she may not realize it.
If I think about it, I cannot think of a time where my mom has ever been encouraging. It might be odd to say that, but it's true. I have the stereotypical Asian mother who expects the most out of you because of the Japanese culture she was raised growing up in. I'm a typical American teenager who likes to be social like the rest of the world, so sometimes I might not listen to my mom. The fact that my mom doesn't understand my culture as well I do always creates conflict between us two. She never looks through my perspective or can never understand my explanation because of a language barrier, but her pessimistic views of me encourages me to work harder.
Her vicious words and mindless chatter attacks me 24/7 and the most I can do about it is ignore her. Sometimes I do realize what I do is wrong and I at least attempt to fix it, yet it doesn't satisfy my mom as usual. It took me seventeen years to realize all of the complaining my mother did ended up benefiting me at the end. Everyone makes mistakes and my mom points out every single one of them no matter how insignificant or significant the matter is. I take every single disappointment that my mom mentions and use it to my advantage. I cherish each frustration as a treasure because each moment this inspires me to do what I believe in and strive for what I think is best for me.
I view my mother's pessimism as encouragement for me to just keep striving for my goals. I acknowledge what she has given to me even though she never sees it. One day I know I will end up proving her wrong and show her that the path I have taken is right in other ways besides hers. Even though I dislike my mom almost 90% of the time, I appreciate all the negativity she has brought into my life and love her with all my heart.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. Any revisions or critiques would be greatly appreciated
I'm also applying to UT Austin (: So first off, I thought the essay was pretty good--but remember that this topic of "my mother" or "my father" has impacted me, etc. is very common and the readers get it a lot. In order to make your essay stand out, state some personal experiences that shows when your mother was not encouraging, and elaborate on that event. Be more specific about how you felt, give examples and I think it will help your essay a lot.
Please read mine? (:
"I noticed the relationship I have between my mother and I is a love hate relationship like every other daughter or son may say, but in my situation I claim this relationship as the true definition of what a love hate relationship should be ."
I believe that "...between my mother and I..." should be changed to "...with my mother...". The original is redundant.
There should be a comma between relationship and like: "...relationship, like...".
"...in my situation..." is unnecessary and clutters the sentence a bit, so I would advise leaving it out.
"...I claim this relationship as..." should be "...I claim this relationship to be...".
"...should be," would sound better as "...is.".
I noticed the relationship I have with my mother is a love hate relationship, like every other daughter or son may say, but I claim this relationship to be the true definition of what a love hate relationship is .
__________
"I have the stereotypical Asian mother who expects the most out of you because of the Japanese culture she was raised growing up in. I'm a typical American teenager who likes to be social like the rest of the world, so sometimes I might not listen to my mom."
I would recommend removing "...growing up..." and combining these sentences:
I have the stereotypical Asian mother who expects the most out of you because of the Japanese culture she was raised in, but I'm a typical American teenager who likes to be social like the rest of the world, so sometimes I might not listen to my mom.
__________
"She never looks through my perspective or can never understand my explanation..."
I advise removing "...can never..." and changing "...understand..." to "...understands...":
She never looks through my perspective or understands my explanation...
__________
Lastly, I don't think its appropriate to use "...24/7..." in an essay like this, so consider changing it to "...constantly..." or something similar.
Other than that, I think the structure of your essay is good, although I think it would help a lot to state how you use your mother's negative feedback as encouragement earlier on.
Please take a look at my short answer if you have the time. I'd appreciate some critical feedback.
