Prompt:Choose someone whom you consider to be a leader. Suppose you are this person's primary advisor. How would you advise this person and why?
I'm considering cutting the bolded paragraph. Any input on that or other advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
In 2010, the Corruption Perception Index ranked Italy the fourth most corrupt country in the European Union. Hopefully Berlusconi's recent step down from office will help turn around this country's increasingly corrupt government and unstable economy, but I think that Italy's educational system will need more reform than almost anything. In November 2011 the Italian government selected a new Minister of Education, Francesco Profumo, and if he is serious about improving the current system he has a lot of work ahead of him.
Dear Francesco Profumo:
Last year I studied abroad in southern Italy and I had the opportunity to experience an Italian education firsthand. When my host mom drove me to school on my first day, she pointed out a run-down structure next to the school with two walls and no roof. She told me that it was supposed to be a new gym for the school, but they ran out of funding half way through building it and never finished. She said government officials pocketed a lot of the money that was supposed to go to schools because they knew nobody could do anything about it. This perception needs to be changed. Italian citizens need to realize that they have to stand up to these government discrepancies if they ever want anything to change. You are the new leader and the new voice that Italy needs to stand up against this injustice and put the educational system back on its feet.
The educational system is outdated. We are in an era where religion shouldn't be required as a mandatory school subject. You can't expect all of your students to share the same, Roman Catholic beliefs anymore. Requiring that religion is taught but banning the mere mention of politics just isn't realistic anymore. The youth needs to be educated in current events. They need to know what is going on in their own country so that they can grow up and make a real difference. If you continue teaching only from the textbooks, Italy will never get out of this rut of corruption and instability. You teach your students to be proud of their roots and of the great Roman Empire that once ruled the world, yet you continue to let them fall behind due to the lack of funding and an outdated educational system. If you want to get through to the students, you need to inspire the teachers. They feel so restricted by the curriculum and the extremely difficult end-of-fifth-year-exams that they have resorted to teaching in a way that makes it almost impossible to get good grades. Teachers lecture for their entire class period, and then they expect the students to go home and memorize, almost word for word, everything that they have learned from the textbook, and then spout it off in front of the entire class. This isn't an effective way of teaching, and the students absolutely hate it. Students should be inspired by the things they learn at school, but instead they feel discouraged.
The educational system needs you to step up and be a leader right now. Go on school visits so you can see for yourself what is going on. Talk to the teachers and find out what they think needs to be changed, and then take action from there. In my opinion, the fifth-year-exams need to be changed, and then the curriculum should be changed respectively. Perhaps give student the opportunity to choose some of their classes rather than requiring that every student takes every subject and passes it. You have to adjust things so that the students don't feel so discouraged by school. Not everyone learns in the same way, and not everyone can excel in every subject, so giving students some choice in their classes or maybe even offering advanced courses as well as more basic courses will allow students to have their own personal needs catered to, and in turn they will have a better experience at school.
In 2008, Berlusconi tried to deal with the global recession by making heavy cuts in funding to public schools and universities. You need to fight to get that funding back. Public schools, in the south particularly, are run down and lacking overall in resources and staff. I attended a Liceo Scientifico, which is supposedly one of the best types of secondary schools and focuses on math and sciences, yet my school was lacking the resources to teach both of those subjects. We had no lab equipment, so rather than doing experiments in chemistry we looked at pictures of experiments or were told to look up lab videos at home. The blackboard in my classroom was broken in half, so our math teacher usually printed off copies of the notes because she didn't have enough room to write them on the board. It's wrong that the best students choose to attend these scientific schools that are supposed to prepare them for their exams and for University, yet many of them don't pass their final exams because they weren't prepared well enough-either because they didn't have the resources or their teachers didn't cover all of the necessary information.
Mariastella Gelmini was the Minister of Education for the last three years, and things only went downhill in the education department. It's time for a change. Italy's future depends on its youth, and without a good education they won't be able to accomplish much of anything. The schools need funding, and they need reform and in order to accomplish anything, someone needs to step up and lead the people to fight for what they deserve.
Perhaps give students the opportunity to choose some of their classes rather than requiring that every student takes every subject and passes it.
I think this was a great essay. You are clearly very well-informed and know a lot about the Italian educational system.
I also do not think that you should omit the paragraph in bold. As the previous person said, it is a personal touch and adds to your essay as a whole. Maybe you should change the placement of it, after the paragraph starting with "Last year I studied abroad in southern Italy and I had the opportunity to experience an Italian education firsthand."
THe last sentence is very powerful and resonates in the readers mind which is great.
good job and good luck!
DON'T TALK ABOUT RELIGION!!
the mid part about bad teachers can be made MORE effective...
the substance is good, but again YOU CAN make your essay waaay more powerful...one way is to reduce the size of the essay...what i do is write an essay which crosses the word limit and then cut it down so that i keep most of the meaning and the essay gains strength...or you can use powerful language....
please go through mine as well...
