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My most memorable holidays


NatyAC 1 / -  
May 19, 2015   #1
My most memorable holidays started on the father's day. My mother and brothers gave to my father as a present a trip to Paris. We all were excited because we never had been in Paris before. The idea was to stay in the capital city 7 days, then travel all the way down to Urdos, a small village in the south of France where my mother had spent her childhood and so my auntie, who has got a house there.

So, the day of the departure came. We rode for two days, stopping one night to rest in Bordeaux. Once in Paris we booked a bungalow in the neighborhood of Versailles. As famous is the Eiffel Tour as it is the fine drizzle that characterised the city. In spite of the rain, we could visit the Louvre, the Palace of Versailles and its amazing and colorful gardens, we went to the top of the Eiffel Tour and many other places. When the 7th day came, the trip wasn't over, actually it had just started. We went back to the road to a attraction park called "Futuroscope" in the city of Poitiers. The place was amazing the attractions were all movies in 3D. As the park really is big, we stayed there for two days sleeping in tents. The weather was fantastic and allowed us visiting the villages where we were allocated. We realised the village was full of colorful flowers everywhere, and so were other many villages we passed in our way down the country. We later found out that is was because there is a competition between villages to see which one has the most amazing, big and full of color flowers. For me, they were all winners!

While driving, we observed the landscape changed, there were no flowers anymore but huge trees along both sides of the road, road that were straight. Kilometers and kilometers of non curved roads in front of us. Sign that we weren't in Poitou but entering the Loire department. This department is famous because of the amazing castles they still conserve. Some of them are available to the public to visit, others are private. So, we stopped and visit a few of them. Once inside you can feel hundreds and hundreds of years of history on your skin. They are absolutely well conserved and it is a must see of France.

Almost over was our trip, when we received a call, it was my cousin, she was at home in Bordeaux and wanted us to pay her a visit. And so we did! We spent a whole week with her sunbathing in the beach and visiting the city. As my auntie was waiting for us in her village, we went back to the road and arrived the same day to her house where we finished our holidays, happy to be in family all together.
Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 19, 2015   #2
Hi Naty, I would like to give some feedbacks on your essay:
1. We went back to the road to a attraction park called "Futuroscope" in the city of Poitiers.
(I suppose you should change the collocation "to the road" into "on the road"
2. The place was amazing the attractions were all movies in 3D.
(Lack of conjunction between "The place was amazing" and "the attractions were all movies in 3D". You could use "where", or "and" in between)
ChristineB - / 108 55  
May 20, 2015   #3
Hi, NatyAC. I'll also try to help you with your the grammar and word choice in your essay:

My most memorable holidays started on theF ather's day. My mother and brothers giftedgaveto my father as a present a trip to Paris. We all were excited because we had never beforenever had been into Paris before . The ideaplan was to stay in the capital city for seven7 days, then travel all the way down to Urdos, a small village in the south of France where my mother had spent her childhood and my aunt owned a homeso m]y auntie, who has got a house there.

_______________

As famous is the Eiffel Tour as it is the fine drizzle that characterised the city. This sentence is a bit confusing. I think you could even omit this sentence.In spiteDespite some drizzlyof the rain, we could visitenjoyed visiting the Louvre, the Palace of Versailles,and itsthe amazing and colorful gardens at the Palace of Versailles , we went to the top of the Eiffel Tour, and many other places.

________________

I hope this has helped you a little bit!


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