This is my first draft, and I would appreciate any revisions or edits that would better my essay. Thank you.
What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that will allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
If I were to ask my closest friends and family what my most prominent quality is, I know they would all point out my uniqueness above the rest. Never have I been one to simply "go with the flow", but rather one to stand up for what I feel and support, even if it goes against the popular opinion. Unlike a lot of teenagers my age, I do not let others' opinions bring me down and change who I am. I always stay true to myself, and I am sure that is something that not many can say with honesty. Many times I have been ostracized for standing up for others and rejecting the popular opinion, but this does not affect me. At first glance, I may seem like any other teenager, but that is terrible mistake. My mind extends far past the simple worries of what others think and what's on next week's episode of the current hit television show. In fact, I have always been one to analyze everything thoroughly because I believe there is meaning within everything. An analytical mind such as my own can go further than just benefiting myself, but also those around me. A new perspective to life and its tribulations is offered when I can speak my mind, and UCF is the university I want to offer my perspective to.
The good morals and values I was raised by helps me stray from the crowd and be a leader rather than a follower. Many people only do good deeds for a beneficial return, but not me. There is nothing I can ask for in return, but the satisfaction of knowing that I made a difference. Whether the matter is large or small, people can always count on my honesty and strong moral principles to bring light to the situation. Often I am looked to by my peers for advice and guidance which I am always willing to offer. I think what really makes me unique is my constant willingness to make personal sacrifices for others' needs, no matter the consequence. As I learn more about UCF, I only grow fonder of the opportunities I will have to fully express my unique personality and contribute all that I can to the campus and my future classmates and with UCF being one of the largest populated colleges in America, I am fully confident that my positive contribution to society will be at its highest when I attend the university.
"My mind extends far past the simple worries of what others think" seems kind of arrogant.
A bit of humility would be nice.
Also, try to be more subtle about what you are trying to say. Show, don't tell.
Besides that, you have a solid essay.
