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"As an immigrant from China".. Describe the world you come from


HelpPls 5 / 23  
Nov 21, 2009   #1
Does my essay fit the topic???

"Fang! Are you just going to sit there? Come join us. You don't have the privilege to visit the arcade everyday!" Andrew yelled.

"No thanks, I'll wait until you guys are finished. Besides, I already wasted two dollars on the pinball machine," I complained, rejecting his invitation.

"Only two bucks? Dude, you are the cheapest person I've ever met! I've already spent more than half of my money!" Andrew shouted.

As an immigrant from China, I possess traits and values that are not shared by many others in the United States and are difficult to obtain in America. One of them is thrift. Growing up in a developing country where the per capita income is awfully low, I have to be frugal. For example, because water is quite expensive in China, I tend to "recycle" water. I often save up all the dirty water I have used and then dump them into the latrine to flush down the toilet.

"Guys it's getting late, I think we should go now." I announced to my friends.
"Uh-oh, bad news, I only have fifty cents left in my pocket. How are we going to get home? How much money do you guys have left?" Andrew asked in despair.

"Yep, we're doomed. I only have three quarters left!" Jesse cried.
"Thank goodness you guys are with me. Come, I will pay for your taxi fare." With that I saved my friends from all the troubles they might have to face.
gumdrop41 6 / 30  
Nov 21, 2009   #2
Just little grammar errors

"Fred! Are you just going to sit there for the rest of the day? Come join us. You don't have the chance to visit the arcade everyday!" Andrew yelled over the noises of the arcade music.

"No thanks, I'll wait until you guys are finished. Besides, I have already wasted two dollars on the pinball machine, " I complained, rejecting his invitation.

"Only two bucks? Dude, you are the cheapest person I've ever met ! I've already spent more than half of all of my money!" Andrew shouted, this time over the noises of a group of excited six-graders.

As an immigrant from China, I possess many traits and values that are not shared with many others in my new country. Several years ago when I was living in China, I gained an untold number of characteristics that are difficult to obtain in America. (I think you should be careful with this sentence, cuz many Americans aren't rich and wasteful, most of the people I know save their money like u ) One of them is thrift. Growing up in a developing country where the per capita income is awfully low, there's a great need to be frugal.

"Guys it's getting late, I think we should be going home now." I announced to my friends.
"Oh no, bad news guys, I only have fifty cents left in my pocket. How are we going to get home? How much money do you guys have left?" Andrew asked in despair.

"Yep, we're doomed. I only have three quarters!" Jesse cried.
"Thanks goodness you guys are with me. Come, I will pay for your taxi fare." With that I saved my friends from all the troubles they might have to face.

It's a good start of an essay, but it definitely needs to be longer. I like all the stories and quotes, but I think your reflection paragraph could be a lot longer. Talk about how your characteristic has affected you in other ways.
OP HelpPls 5 / 23  
Nov 21, 2009   #3
Thanks but I have already went over the limit. lol The limit is 250 words, mine's 258.

Yes, I understand many Americans are now turning thrifty because of the economy, I was probably trying to say that the average Americans are more wasteful than an average Chinese.


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