If there has been some obstacles or "bump in the road" in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
This is the first time I have written an essay. So please feel free to tell me what wrong in my essay and what needs to be corrected. Thank you so much.
In my personal life, there has been some obstacles that bump in my road.The hardest one is starting a new life in a new country. I was born and grew in Vietnam. Two year ago, I came to America with my family. It was not only a chance, but also was a trap. In the new environment that was not familiar, I could not adapt to the way people communicated, or the way they worked. It seemed to be a new life for me and my family. We had to use the new complicated language that we have not used before. My first day at school was so terrible and awful. I could not understand what people were saying around me, or even where my classes were. At lunch, people were laughing and talking with their friends, and sitting around me but I was alone with myself, ate my sandwiches and talked to no one. It was the hardest time in my life. I was stressed because of a lot of thing, such as: class notes, school, or even language, whatever around me at that time. In an English-speaking environment, I was supposed to try double than what other kids tried, one for learning English, and one for learning general knowledge in school. However, after all, I found out that obstacle might help me a lot. During two years, my English skill has been improved, and everything has changed. Now, I can communicate confidently with my friends, and understand what people tell me.
It certainly does not sound like an Obstacle or "bump in the road." It is a common problem of newcomers to United states. If this is your only biggest obstacle, then write it. Otherwise, I'd like to suggest find another idea. Tell a story concerning an obstacle that changed your life or an Obstacle that made the biggest Impact on you.
Hi Tran Thi, you need to explain how you overcome this situation, don't just talk about obstacle part, but explain how you managed to settle in this place. You said it was a trap but why? Why you changed your country? What steps you took to get yourself familiar with the new environment and how difficult it was? Yet at last how you succeeded.That will make your essay complete.
