Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
When I entered high school my freshman year, I remember writing a letter to myself about who I was to send to my future self. The pages of paper began to go one by one as I wrote about my friends, the TV shows I watched, and even what I ate. What I didn't write, simply because I avoided it, was what would hide behind a wall of emotions throughout half of my high school endeavors, my sexuality. This secret would continue to hide behind it's wall of lies until the summer before my junior year.
It was a blistering hot summer day in August, and the beach was bustling with people from all over. I sat on the boardwalk during my break at work and I stared out into the distance, watching anyone and everyone pass by me with grins bigger than anything I've ever seen. People were just enjoying being who they were, and where they were, something that I haven't personally taken a step back to observe.
"Am I happy where I am in life?" I thought to myself as my break began to end almost too soon.
The thought plagued me for the rest of the work day, and every time I did address the question, there would be one thing that would come out of hiding and slap me over and over, my sexuality. I went through each hour of my shift pushing the thought to the side, but when I put my punch-out card in the machine so I could leave, the question came back, only now with a friend.
"Am I happy where I am in life? Am I the person I want to be?"
At this point, I wanted to end this all, so on the car ride home I texted my best friend, Vivian, and asked her if she could talk to me later that night. She agreed, and I got home, thought long and hard about who I was, who I want to be, and where I am in life. I came to the conclusion in my bathroom in front of my mirror.
"I am gay." The room was completely silent, and I could feel the words echo throughout my whole body and break a part of the wall that was plaguing me for so much of my life. I look up and I see in the reflection someone new, someone I wanted to be, and it gave me the strength to say those three words to my best friend. When I did tell her those three words, I felt like a new person, and the wall was broken. I felt mature, and I felt like a true individual. Because of that day, I was able to enter my junior year of high school with the upmost confidence and pride of who I was, which felt liberating.
That hot day in August shaped my life, and who I am today. I learned to be proud of who I am, and not to let anyone force me to be someone I'm not. It shaped my culture, pushing me to become more involved in movements for sexual identity awareness and LGBTQ+ rights. It let me become an unique individual in my community and even when communicating with my peers. Most importantly, I became someone who doesn't hide behind lies like I did for nearly all of my life.
Any criticism is welcome! I really like this essay, but I'm afraid it doesn't match with this prompt.
Thank you so much!
David, welcome to EssayForum :)
With regards to your hesitation about not answering the prompt properly, I reckon that it depends on what is the purpose of this essay application. If it is about a scholarship application for getting a grant, I think "Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family." this question should be related to academic accomplishment or event, formal or informal, for example, it can be a formal/informal academic competition/event that you've joined in the past, and the transition can be about your experience. For instance, previously when you were a child, you always wanted to win a competition, and when you grew up, you think that "sometimes we win, sometimes we learn." This indicates that you've reached an adulthood, you learn from your past mistakes and try to get a new motivation to keep pursuing your dream.
As you can see David, that was my thought relating to your prompt. You can decide it by yourself, whether to continue using your current draft, or making a new one. Good Luck for that :)
Hi David, here's my take on your essay.
- When I entered high school ,my freshman year ,
- the paper began
- it's walls of lies until
- me with a grins bigger
There you have it David, I stop here because I notice that this is a well written essay. You manage to come up with an essay that is not only an eye opener but also a huge step in making a life of your own. Remember, as you watch the people in and around you, think about yourself, think about your happiness and what life meant to you. We only cross this path once and it will not be that easy, nobody said it will be,but the good thing is, we fight for what we think is right, what will make us happy and will us stand out from a pool of people in this earth.
Your essay remind me of a lot of things to ponder about life, things that will make life even better, things that remind me of the days, hours and minutes that should not be wasted, instead live life as much as you can and spend every second without any regrets.
There you have it David, when it comes to your essay, I must say you are a natural in writing and I commend you for taking that summer and make it a turning point of your rather fantastic life. Live life it each day like it is your last.
