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I have just finished the Lion King a moment ago ; meaningful movie - Columbia


trilam153 9 / 21 3  
Aug 20, 2013   #1
I have just finished the Lion King a moment ago and suddenly the connections are made. The elephant graveyard, the Pride Rock, America, Vietnam; they all make perfect sense now. I can recall very clearly many years ago my father warned us not to come to America, a strange place far from home and free from any of his protection. But because of seduction from my step-father, promising something of an American dream, my family left. Soon enough, Scar showed his true face. In America our family had no power like the king's for him to extort; instead he had his eyes on my eleven year old sister. Fortunately, I found out one night when everyone but him was asleep. And we were on the run the next day. Through many states, from the Mississippi south to the Seattle northwest, we are still running. Hakuna Matata, "No Worries," is our motto. We still believe that as long as all of us survive, together, we have the future by our sides. But with every blight comes a blessing. In the new land, Simba met Simon and Pumba like we met many good friends who helped us got through the day, who gave my mother and sister jobs to live by. After the movie ends, the words of Mufasa, "Remember who you are," continues to haunt me. Growing up a far from my Pride Rock reminds me that I still have a father waiting for me to be his son and two little brothers who eagerly urge me to show them "that-awesome-movie-about-me." The struggles of my family never cease to end and my mother is not getting any younger. Like Simba, I must one day go back to my country and create a life all of us wanted; a simple life in the Circle of Life.

Please tell both positive and negative.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 20, 2013   #2
I have just finished the Lion King a moment ago and suddenly the connections are made.

I just finished the Lion King a moment ago and now I find the connections have begun to form.

But because of seduction from my step-father,

... I don't understand this part :( Why you mention about a step-father. He was never in the scene and suddenly appeared here. I find hard to have a connection with this and the rest of your essay.
OP trilam153 9 / 21 3  
Aug 20, 2013   #3
trilam153:
But because of seduction from my step-father, ... I don't understand this part :( Why you mention about a step-father. He was never in the scene and suddenly appeared here. I find hard to have a connection with this and the rest of your essay.

Well, he promised to take care of us but he didnt.
How do i fix this, since i'm not sure the confusion. How would u state it differently
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 21, 2013   #4
Ok....the problem is that you introduce your step father all of a sudden. You have mentioned nothing about him before this sentence. However you have talked about your father and no connection made in this regard. Tell what happened to your father and how your stepfather entered into your life.
OP trilam153 9 / 21 3  
Aug 21, 2013   #5
This is a partially revived version. The word limit is 300 and i still have to cut 15 words - it tough to put on any information :(
I just rephrase it differently. Can you trim it down for me ?

I have just finished the Lion King a moment ago and suddenly the connections are made. The elephant graveyard, the Pride Rock, America, Vietnam; they all make perfect sense now. I can recall very clearly many years ago my father, Mufasa, warned us not to come to America, a strange place far from home and free from any of his protection. But his words meant nothing to my mother when she was seduced by my step-father, who promised us a better life. And we left our home. Soon enough, Scar showed his true face. In America our family had no power like the king's for him to extort; instead he had his eyes on my eleven year old sister. Fortunately, I found out one night when everyone but him was asleep. We were on the run the next day. Through many states, from Jackson, MS to the Seattle, WA, we are still running. Hakuna Matata, "No Worries," is our motto. We still believe that as long as all of us survive, together, we have the future by our sides. But with every blight comes a blessing. In the new land, Simba met Simon and Pumba like we met many good friends who helped us got through the day, who gave my mother and sister jobs to live by. After the movie ends, the words of Mufasa, "Remember who you are," continues to haunt me. Growing up a far from my Pride Rock reminds me that I still have a father waiting for me to be his son and two little brothers who eagerly urge me to show them "that-awesome-movie-about-me." The struggles of my family not yet cease to end and we are still fighting but I know in my heart that one day, when it is over, I will go back to my country and create a life all of us wanted in the Circle of Life.


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