Father's Influence
Throughout our life we come across a person who changes the viewpoint of our life so we shall benefit from it. For me, both my parents have had a continuous impact on my life, but my father has had the most extensive one. Even though he is a workaholic, he has always had time to come to parent meetings, my sports matches and many other activities that other parents shrug off.
Even though I despised being put into the sports I had been in as a child, I am happy that my dad had forced me into being an active member of them. Even though I was not always the best player, my dad made me feel as if I was by the small but important things he did. Many times would lose, but in return instead of being put down he would cheer me up by either buying me something I wanted or taking me somewhere where we could enjoy ourselves. Even though he always knew that my team would rarely win, he always kept registering me in hopes of getting better. In this manner he instilled in me the determination to keep trying and never give up.
My father has also been an important source of information and inspiration for me. Many times we have had late nights because he would be explaining a math problem to me or we would be working on a science project. He has always put me ahead of himself and provided me with the things I need to excel. In other ways he also acts as a motivator for me since he has come so far in his as well. Studying in India, he overcame many challenges to become a recognized engineer where he is now. For that I am grateful because he has insinuated the same qualities he has in me so that I can succeed.
Everything my dad has done for me has made me who I am today. Most things in life I have learned from him and hopefully I can apply those in life to what I aspire to become. He has always impressed me with his patience, dedication and other qualities that I believe have been ingrained within me. Even if next year I will be miles away from my home, I will always have my dad next to my side.
do not mention ur father as a workaholic...ur next few lines contradict it...
as an indian can understand wat u r tryin to convey...:-)
I think it's weak. You describe some things, but you don't say what the meaning behind it is; and so a person thinks you are mentioning off topic things that don't seem to make sense or fit in, with the conspicuous absence of an explanation linking the metaphors tightly and with emphasis to the decisions your father made. Besides that, it doesn't really appear out what it is that your father showed you to make him such an appreciated influence on your life. I mean, an engineer talking math problems with his son??? Can you get any more distant from the point of this all -- illustrating those personal values and qualities he had that made a lasting impression on you as a grown up now. You don't just add the affirmation that he was self-less or this and that, or why write the essay. You're supposed to talk about the personal side of your father and how he was great because of x certain demeanor and y certain mysterious behavior that you figured out to be a manifestation of the quality. It's not the best attempt to mention math problems and generalities so broad, they could be true of any old father to his son. You basically avoid providing us with a view from dad's side, that would brush thoughts into pictures and feelings that we can feel and imagine.
thanks, do you think i should make it more specific then?
you are contradicting yourself when you say your father is a workaholic.
overall i think the essay is really weak and you should go back and try to make your sentence structures stronger.
Many times my team lost, would lose, but in return instead of being put down he would cheer me up by either buying me something I wanted or taking me somewhere where we could enjoy ourselves.
Most things in life of my important lessons are lessons I learned from him, and ...
... what I aspire to become. ----what is it that you aspire to become? I think that is the most important topic. Show how his influence prepares you for success in one of the top 3 fields that most interest you.
:-)
