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"A Father's Enduring Love" - The person you admire the most


92angel 3 / 3  
Jan 31, 2011   #1
Ok so i must hand out this essay on Wednesday, the topic is the person you admire the most.

i just need some help concerning my language, grammar (if there is any) , and other paragraphs i could add, because this one is just 2 pages and i need 3...im out of ideas

any help would be appreciated, thanks in advance.

A Father's Enduring Love

The people that get to know us best, from our virtues to flaws, are our parents. They have the greatest influence on our lives because they are the people we see the most and have known for the longest period of time. They sacrifice many luxuries in order to give their children the best life possible. My father has had a huge impact on my life and it is because of him that I am the person I am today. A lot of people say that I am a lot like my dad, both physically and mentally. We both have the same mannerism, facial expressions, and thinking processes. We love to study and travel, eat exotic and luxurious food, spend time with family members and we both have an incredible amount of energy. From observing my dad's behavior and listening to his lectures, he has had a great influence on my life, choices and personality.

My father, Najeeb Yousef Rizik, went through so much in his life to get to where he is today, a successful pharmacist with a well-paying job. My dad is a strong confident man who left his hometown when he was seventeen years old and moved to the United States alone. He didn't know anyone, had little money in his pocket and worked in the most demeaning jobs with the lowest income, jobs I would never even imagine working in. Nonetheless, he had no other choice. He needed to eat and live. With all of these obstacles in his way he never stopped looking at the bright side of his journey with ambition as his only friend and motivator towards a better and more successful life. After twelve years, he managed to graduate from a respectful university in Texas and he started working as a licensed pharmacist.

October 1st 1992, The day I opened my eyes to the world and the day my father started giving me unconditional love. My father was and always will be my number one idol. His journey as a teenager made me realize how easy mine is compared to his. I am so grateful that I had him as a father; the things he taught me have influenced my life in different ways. For example, I learnt to always be honest and tell the truth no matter what happens, to never try to be someone whom I'm not and to respect people no matter what. All these examples along with other things that he had taught me during his life helped me to start working towards my goal and to achieve it. Because of him, I became very eager to follow my own dream. As he has always told me and continues to tell me 'there is nothing impossible if you put your mind to it'. He proved that to me.

My father always placed his family as his number one priority. He moved back to the USA after getting married and started working in America so he could guarantee a better future for his children, which he did. My dad has a very special place in my life and always will not just because he is my dad, but because he is a special and strong person in my eyes. Dad has always told me no matter what happens to you in life pick yourself up and keep going strong as you were. He says what doesn't hurt you makes you stronger. I believe there are no excuses in life to make you just give up and be lazy. You are what you make of your life no ifs or buts. You can be who or whatever you want to be all you have to do is work hard towards your ambitions. So that even though my dad has back and knee problems he still works hard every day, at the age of fifty-eight years. I admire and respect my father for everything he has dose and has done. I work hard at everything I do for the greatest reward of all. Knowing that my accomplishments are making my father proud.

To conclude, I could not have asked for a better father. My dad has always been there for me and I will always be there for him. I respect my father because he has earned it. He was a true father and never took the easy way out like most fathers do nowadays. I believe my father is the best at everything he does. He has been through so much in his life and still is a happy wonderful man; I would have probably been sad and depressed if I had to go through half as much as my father did. He never looks behind he always looks at the bright side in every problem, he always says the past is the past "always remember it but do not dwell on it" you should dwell on the future that is the important thing.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 3, 2011   #2
I'm so sorry you did not get any help until after the deadline had passed!
I'll look at it now, for whatever my ideas might be worth, better late than never.

... because they are the people we see the most and have known for the longest period of time. ---I think it involves something a little more than this! :-)

From observing my dad's behavior and listening to his lectures, I have found guidance for life choices and personality.--I had to change this one a little. From observing, [I] did something... You observed, so you are the one doing something in this sentence.

This is my favorite part!!---> As he has always told me and continues to tell me, 'There is nothing impossible if you put your mind to it'. He proved that to me. ---what a beautiful sentence. Capitalize "There."

Actually, it is even better if you do not start sentences with "there are..." Just do this:
...continues to tell me, "Nothing is impossible if..."

Always use a comma in a compound sentence: My dad has always been there for me, and I will always be there for him.

This is such a great essay, and I think it is the sort of thing that becomes one of the most cherished, awesome things in someone's life -- your father's. When you start to get older, you look to what has been meaningful in your life, and because of this essay your father will never have to wonder if he lived well. He'll be looking at this essay when he gets old, that is for sure! :-) you are a great kid.


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