"I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better," Plutarch once said. I hope our relationship is about learning from each other. Roomie, here is a bit about me, just to get the ball rolling.
I'm quite vivacious and eccentric, always running around laughing and listening to music. I don't like sitting in one place for too long. Over the last summer, I spent hours exploring Stanford on my bicycle, and walked around campus, drawing inspiration from the beauty Palm Drive, the church, Green Library and Campus Drive for the long nights of study I had ahead of me. My sunglasses and running shoes go everywhere with me, because I like to get to know what's going on around me.
When not studying or exploring my neighborhood, I can most likely be found in a dance studio, practicing Indian classical dance, Bharata Natyam. Dance is the reason I am always listening to music, it has made me fall in love with and explore rhythm. Dance is also where I find my relationship with god who has given me so many blessings, so I find it only right to learn and practice a dance form that is known as the highest form of yoga and calls out to god, praising his many forms.
My father is my biggest role model. As a consulting engineer, he runs a small firm. Even though recent financial times have been tough, Papa continues to lead his company on, living by the phrase: "When going gets tough, the tough get to work". This motivation has pushed me to work my hardest and never give up. I throw myself into academic work, and spend hours perfecting homework and studying for tests. I spend precious energy re-doing dance moves until they are pristine. I spend time with friends who are having issues, listening to them, discussing how to resolve their problems, cheering them up and making them feel better.
Roomie, I am looking forward to meeting you, and hope we aren't exactly the same, because hey, that would be boring! See you soon! Be Well.
be helpful please :))
I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR!
Love the quote at the beginning- hope the AOs get aren't put off by it- i doubt they will be but you never know.
Over the last summer, I spent hours exploring Stanford on my bicycle, and walkeding around campus, drawing inspiration from the beauty of Palm Drive, the church, Green Library and Campus Drive.for the long nights of study I had ahead of me .
My sunglasses and running shoes go everywhere with me, because I like to get to know what's going on around me .-- I don;t really get this in context, but if you think the AOs will you can keep it
always listening to music; it has made me fall in love with and explore rhythm.
Very personable and shows who you are. I would love to receive this as a letter, so I'm sure AOs will too...GOOD LUCK!!!
and walked around campus, drawing inspiration from the beautybeautiful Palm Drive, the church, Green Library and Campus Drive for the long nights of study I had ahead of me.
(might consider adding a transition from your last train of thought) My father is my biggest role model.
Other than just a few small issues, i really enjoyed your essay. You and your personality shine through it very effectively.
I would appreciate it if you could give my Stanford Vitality essay a glance, thanks in advance!
Hi! A very well-written essay!
I like the first part very much.
However, I would suggest you to consider revising this sentence: Dance is also where I find my relationship with god who has given me so many blessings, so I find it only right to learn and practice a dance form that is known as the highest form of yoga and calls out to god, praising his many forms.
I think it is a little bit awkward to me. Maybe its a bit too long. But that is just my opinion =)
Also, I think it would be great if you personalize it a bit more (maybe by adding a personal touch when you mention about how you have comforted your friends).
And maybe, you should cut out the "Be Well" part cos I think the sentence before that is interesting and strong.
Other than that, a very great essay!
I hope this helps.
pls take a look at my "Giving back to your country essay"
thank you!
=)
