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My Family (from Saudi Arabia) Background


mishalalzaid 1 / 2  
Sep 18, 2011   #1
In general, family in this point of view is one of the most important things in our life. My family history is present in my personality, because they were the first who teach me how to love them and how to take my first step in life. The culture was important too where I grow up to makes me as a good person. My Family history and culture has a huge influence on me. It has made me who I am today.

My family from Saudi Arabia and we have different backgrounds, which includes lifestyle, food, culture, religious beliefs. As for me, I am the only child in family. And sometimes I think about how will I live if I have a sister or brother. Sometimes it is so boring to be at home along. I think about my parents, that all my childhood they helped me and did everything for me. But it doesn't mean that I'm the main person in my family. Family it is also our grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles but I do not know more things about them. Also. my family tree has a long history of generations that sometimes are so ancient that we cannot remember the member of it. I know about our forefathers from our grandparents. As for me it's really interesting to know who lived before me. And when I begin to ask my parents about forefathers I find for myself a lot of interesting things. Unfortunately, I know not a lot of people in my family branch.

My lovely family consists of only three members: my mom, my dad and me. It was bigger when my brother was alive. He died from an accident when I was nearly ten. Not realizing how tragic and irrevocable the event of his death was for my mom and my dad. My father entered the hospital mental health after the death of my older brother and he spent about a month. After that he came out of the hospital and he was not like before, The thing that made me dependent on myself and responsible for my family. As result, which made me decided to study abroad to get a certificate that makes me to get the good job.

My hero is my older brother, Turky (died at the age of 25). He started from nothing in the begging of his life because nobody helped him in that time. When he started to think about selling cars people made fun of him, but after a few years he became one of the best car salesman in the town. Also, my mother told me that he did not like to take any help from anybody even from my father. However, when I think about what he did and what the age he started to sell cars, it makes me think he is my hero. I hope I can do half of what he has done in the past because I know that will be hard for me to do. Also, he helped our family when they need anything, and helped many people that I know because he liked to help poor people all the time. He liked help homeless people in several ways. I want to become like him helping people that he does not know without feeling tired. My hero is my brother because he was fighter, helpful and respectful man.

In conclusion, word family is a strong word because of this huge meaning behind and the family of today is much different than the family of 50 years ago. without Families you can not give the love and support to your children need which they need to become mature and responsible adults.
nbvycitg - / 1  
Sep 18, 2011   #2
I would revise the first sentence to read: "My family has formed a truly integral part of my life and personality for as long as I can remember."
Tank 2 / 4  
Sep 19, 2011   #3
I strongly suggest you to use more link verb!!!!
peiman 2 / 5  
Sep 19, 2011   #4
because they were the first who taught me how to love them and how to take my first step in life.
My Family's background and culture have had a huge influence...
My family is from Saudi Arabia where has different backgrounds, lifestyle, food, culture and religious beliefs.
I'm the main person in my family. Family it is also our grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts and uncles.
my family tree has a long history of generations that sometimes is so ancient that we cannot remember the member of it?
I find for myself a lot of interesting things. Unfortunately, I do not know a lot of people in my family branch.
He died because of an accident when I was nearly ten
OP mishalalzaid 1 / 2  
Sep 20, 2011   #5
Thanks to all

What about the rest of essay
I need more recommendation and comments

many Thank
peiman 2 / 5  
Sep 20, 2011   #6
I was nearly ten, n ot realizing how tragic and irrevocable the event of his death was for my mom and my dad.
After that he came out of the hospital, he was not like before and this incident made me a dependent man on myself and a responsible child to my family.

As result, which made me decided to study abroad to get a certificate that makes me to get the good job. ( try this sentence again plz)

helped him at that time
When he started to think about selling cars, people made fun of him. But a few years later, he became
I hope I can to do half of what he had done in the past. because I know that will be hard for me to do. ( i dont think u have to say this)

Also, he helped our family when they needed anything, and helped many people that I know and it is because he was into helping poor people all the time. He liked helping homeless people in several ways. without feeling tired, I want to be like him helping people that he did not know. My hero is my brother because he was a fighter, helpful and respectful man.

In conclusion, "family" word is a strong word because of this huge meaning behind and in comparison with families of 50 years ago, today's are much different. Inside a Family, you can give and take love and support (dear Mishal, be aware that (verb) and (verb), (adjective) and (adjective), (noun) and (noun) here "LOVE" is a noun but SUPPORT is a verb! plz correct it!) to your children need.

which they need to become mature and responsible adults. try to write better than this sentence
have fun:)
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Oct 24, 2011   #7
Hello Mishal,

This is a very touching essay. However, you need to explain more. You need to talk more about how you have stepped up as a leader in your family. Why is your family now dependent on you? How did you personally feel about your brothers death. How did you father change afterwards. If you can paint a complete picture, your essay will really be powerful. Also you have a tremendous amount of grammatical errors. Try passing your essay through a word checker to help catch some of them. - admissions essay advice
isabellaclaudia 14 / 31  
Oct 24, 2011   #8
beatifully written and touching :) yeah i believe by simply adding words such as 'furthermore' 'in addition' 'subsequently', it can make your essay richer


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