Write about an incident or set of incidents in your life that had the most profound influence on you. While writing this essay briefly mention the incident and the impact it has had on your life. (300 words max)
The time dates back to 2008 when adversity struck and companies started laying off their suppliers mercilessly and our family shattered both financially and otherwise. Our business cam to a stop and all that my father was left with was some experience and the responsibility to feed a family of four.
My father a very hard-working person did not lose his calm and composure even when the odds were against him. As he was the only breadwinner he was in a dilemma of choosing between getting employed or starting once again from scratch, but he chose the latter.
This was because he thought he had endless possibilities and had nothing to fear as he had nothing to lose. He was a person ready to chase his dreams and was not afraid of the challenges he faced.
He approached different other companies and successfully converted the setback into an opportunity. He used to tell me when you stop trying it is then that you fail. That day I learnt that determination is everything. It was a transformation in myself and i learnt that if you believe in yourself , are passionate about your goals and work with dedication and sincerity towards them then there is nothing you cannot achieve.
Today our business is expanding and gaining traction. It was all possible because of him following his passion and ambition with perseverance.
This has had a significant impact on me and I feel that from his qualities I have become a better version of myself. I see myself ready to follow his footprints towards the journey of success. It is from him that I learnt that when we are facing a problem or are not able to realize our dreams or achieve what we want we don't always have to do anything extraordinary, we just need to try harder.
It's a good topic to talk about and i was really interested the whole time, but try making it more unique. Have vivid details, speak about the moment in the first person and try then elaborate on why it had an impact on you. Use feelings, emotions, and more to show what you felt, the change you felt, and how it has impacted you. It's still a good essay as is, but if you want it to be very unique maybe being vivid.
Yash, as I read your essay, I can't help but see myself, I may not be a breadwinner in my family, however, like your father, I feel like there is endless possibilities and I tend not to fear anything because I believe I can do anything I wish as long as I work hard for it and stay focus, the good thing is, it actually works, when you focus on the things that you can do, the dream will come true and the possibilities is indeed endless.
At 19, I graduated college, I said I want to be a writer, now I'm on EF and not only writing but more importantly, I'm helping students and writers alike.
Going back to your essay, I believe it is written well, you have covered the necessary information needed in the essay to answer the prompt and you were able to provide details of the particular situation described in your essay. For future writing reference, know when to inject the details of the situation as this is critical in creating a smooth flow in your essay.
I hope this insight helped!
