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My failures are my Successes- Nervous Applicant. Personal Statement UW


shubh 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2015   #1
It was a blisteringly cold November morning but I was already sweating with nervousness. I got out of the car mumbling goodbye to my mom as she wished me good luck and gave me last minute advice. Her encouragement had little effect as I was preoccupied wondering about the what ifs. What if I don't make the team? What if I get embarrassed? What if I miss every shot I take? I knew that I wasn't helping myself in anyway by thinking about every negative situation possible. But for some reason I couldn't help myself. I entered the gym carrying my gym bag and a unnecessary baggage of pressure. Pressure of impressing my friends, not letting my family down and becoming the athlete I wished I was. If I went back in time I would have left this pressure at home and filled up that bag with some self confidence.

That day at tryouts I tried my hardest to not make a single mistake and I made sure to not get singled out by not doing anything that could be risky. Throughout every drill or scrimmage I would be the one to play defense and the one to set the screens to help others score. I avoided the ball so there would be a less chance of me making a colossal fool out of myself. Then towards the end of tryouts coach pulled me to the side and told me I didn't make the team. I was speechless, I thought I did everything I could do to not get cut. Then it finally hit me and I realised that I might have avoided making mistakes but what really matters is my ability to recover from my mistakes. At that point it may have seemed to be a little late for the realisation to occur and have any positive effect on me. However, later that day I went home and gave my parents the depressing news but when I told my mom she caught me off guard by saying she was proud of me. Proud of me, for what? Didn't I let them down by failing to succeed in my goals of making the team. Her response changed my life forever. She told me that success is not measured by whether you achieve your goal or not, rather it achieved by improving and showing positive progress.

I had spent most of my energy proving to others that I was successful by avoiding failure; I had not realized that this was my greatest mistake of all. Without failure I realized that there could be no progress and to succeed failure is not optional; it is mandatory. I began to understand why Thomas Edison's resiliency was so instrumental in his success in creating the light bulb. He needed to begin with a failure to eventually create what is considered one of the most momentous inventions. After being cut I thought I had reached a dead end; what I didn't realize was that all I need to do is turn around and create another path to my goal. My mom changed my whole perspective on the situation. Instead of my basketball career being over I saw this a blessing in disguise to reach my full potential through failing and correcting my mistakes. The next year I tried out and made the team, eventually I reached my ultimate goal 3 years later to make the varsity team. Although I'm proud of making the team, I'm more proud of the improvements I've made since being cut my freshman year. 4 years ago I would have never thought my failure would end up leading to all my successes.
katiedirt4 3 / 11  
Nov 29, 2015   #2
Blisteringly should be blistering. Your numbers should be spelt out also because they are under 10. You have a few errors and should reword some sentences and maybe change some around but overall I think it is a great theme and thought out essay.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Nov 29, 2015   #3
Shubh, I'd like to share my insights on your essay with the focus on the final paragraph.

- I had spent most of my energy proving to others that I was successful byin avoiding failure;. ( you can end this sentence here as the idea can stand alone )

- and to succeed failure is not optional;an option, it is mandatory.
- I began to understand why Thomas Edison's resiliencyresilience was so instrumental
- My mom changed my whole perspective on thein this situation.
- eventually I reached my ultimate goal, ( mind your punctuation marks ) 3 years later to make the varsity team.
- Although I'm proud of making the team, I'm more proud of the improvements I've made since being cut my freshman year. 4 years ago I would have never thought my failure would end up leading to all my successes.and even more overjoyed looking back to the success I made from the failure I had experienced.

That's about Shubh, I hope I was able to enhance the final paragraph and the essay in general and by the way, if you can revise the title of the essay to;

My failures are my Success

Best of luck!!!


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