Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


"Everything was white; medical testing and surgery" - Rice perspective essay


nighty_star12 3 / 5  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)

Everything was white.

The fear pounding in my heart was not diminished in the least by the fact that I had anticipated this moment for ten of the seventeen years of my life. My apprehension must have been apparent on some monitor because the anesthesiologist soon told me "You'll feel a slight pinch" as he injected my IV with some foreign substance meant to calm me. The difference between the slight pinch promised and the sharp jab that followed only served to heighten my anxiety. This was it.

Orthodontists are every child's nightmare. As a third grader, I was taken into Dr. Goldreich's office to be assessed for any hint of a need for braces. The results of that visit would serve to mold my high school years. Some teenagers have nightmares of awkward braces or even more disastrous headgear. I, on the other hand, had maxillofacial surgery to plague my nighttime escapades. How could my genes have betrayed me with a malformed jaw? As Dr. Goldreich calmly explained in his unidentifiable accent that I would need major jaw surgery to correct my bone growth, my young mind couldn't quite grasp the gravity of the situation.

After years of expensive medical testing, the time was ripe for surgery. I was sure that I was ready for the change. After all, had I not seen numerous surgeries from six seasons of Grey's Anatomy? Surely, there would be a moment of life changing wonder afterwards to enjoy. Oh how wrong I was. After eight hours in the operating room, I awoke in the ICU with a gigantic tube stuck down my throat and pain throbbing in my jaw. The nurse wrapped my hand around a button and explained that if I was "uncomfortable", morphine would be available at the touch of the button. The ICU was just a precursor to the suffering to come.

Despite years spent with the knowledge of surgery, the impacts of the actual act were unanticipated. Being a teenager means learning to love yourself for who you are. Through years of torturous acne and awkward social gatherings, I had finally learned to do so. In just one day, my appearance had changed drastically and as a result, I wasn't sure if the person in the mirror was the same as the person who entered the operating room. As dire as the situation seemed in the week after surgery, I learned to deal with the problems recovery entailed. I rekindled my love for cooking by creating new soups to satisfy my liquid diet. I found creative, hand-free ways to continuously have ice on my face to placate my swollen jaw. I took up cross-stitch embroidery to cure my boredom on those endless bedridden days. Other problems, such as my perpetually mucus-filled sinuses, simply had no solution. Instead of letting it bother me, I learned to work through the discomfort. The surgery pushed me past my comfort zone, but through this arduous process, I gained new found strength. To Rice, I bring the perspective of someone with intelligent and creative solutions for any problem confronted. I bring the perspective of someone affiliated with suffering but is willing to work through and past any and all hardships. I bring the perspective of an able student who is open to change and all that Rice has to offer.

Not quite sure about the last sentence. Need help conforming the essay to the prompt!
Chigozie 13 / 22 2  
Jan 2, 2011   #2
This is a good essay. I think that the last two sentences should be your first two sentences and you can back it up with your story to show your creative thinking.

Good Luck
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 29, 2011   #3
Brevity:
this moment for ten of the seventeen years of my life. my seventeen years.

fear pounding in my heart---Great phrase here...

Oh... the last two sentence... I really like that advice from Victor... That will be great, because I have a hard time figuring out what the theme of the essay is going to be as I read.

Also, google this: imagery words
If you read a little about what they are and why they are important, it might give you some good ideas about how to improve the essay. It has great emotional content, and more imagery words will help to intensify the reader's experience.

You write well!! This is a strong essay.


Home / Undergraduate / "Everything was white; medical testing and surgery" - Rice perspective essay
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳