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Engineering project / Happiness word - University of Virginia short essays


punkiebell17 7 / 11 4  
Oct 25, 2013   #1
So I need help with these two short essays. They are not too long, but I do need help. Any comments on it? Grammatical errors? Anything I should add or delete? Any help is greatly appreciated. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. The second essay, I must say, is a little weird.

If you were given funding for a small engineering project, what would you do?* (Limit 250 words)

There is no object in this world that hasn't been touched by the hands of an engineer and that is what fascinates me about their innovations; everything they do is for improvement.

If I were to have the funding for a small engineering project I would think in small and very simple measures. I notice the smallest details about a person, for example, the color of their eyes, the way they walk, or how nervous they get. I know some people's hands sweat when they get nervous, and they especially get nervous when they are with people and they have to shake hands with them. It would be of great benefit and satisfaction for a person whose hands sweat because of nervousness to longer have to worry about it. I could create gloves that not only resembled the human skin, but also soaked up the sweat off their hands while wearing them, and evaporated the sweat through small pores in the gloves. In having gloves like these, nervous people would eventually get used to the feeling of not being nervous and not need them anymore. Still, the idea of gloves that resemble real human skin would still be of benefit to those who have suffered burns on their hands, or perhaps other parts of their bodies that they would like to hide. Because it is the smallest details that count, it is the smallest details we should most pay attention to.

What is your favorite word and why? (Limit 250 words)

When I hear my favorite word, I imagine a little elf dancing by a tree in a meadow. The life of this little elf is a difficult one, but because of his mindset he always manages to look at the best of side of every one of his misfortunes. Before he knows it, his life becomes better, because every event in his life from then on turns out happy and beneficial in a certain way. In my mind the name of this happy little elf is Happiness, therefore, "happiness" is my favorite word.

I love the sound of the word itself, or rather the mischievous elf laugh I hear in my mind that always encourages me to just turn up the volume of the music as high as possible before I pull my hair out over school. Because of my own imagination, I have created a fake imaginary elf role model who is someone I very much want to be like one day. Because of this word I have managed to admit that although I haven't accomplished as much as others, I know that no matter what happens one day I will look in the mirror and see deep into my own eyes, and think of how life is not as bad as it seems to be. Life is beautiful regardless of how much I have cried, shouted, and fought against the poverty that holds me down. One day I will find the true meaning of the word.
JayuPatel 1 / 7  
Oct 26, 2013   #2
"In my mind the name of this happy little elf is Happiness, therefore, "happiness" is my favorite word."

I think the word "happy" is over used in this sentence.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 3, 2013   #3
If I were to have the funding for a small engineering project

If I am provided with funding for a small engineering project ... this is what your prompt suggests
The answer for the first question is very interesting... I enjoyed reading it :)

but because of his mindset he always manages to look at the best of side of every one of his misfortunes.

..., but his positive mindset gets him to look at the brighter side of every challenge.
Both are good responses. You have very good ideas :)


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