Briefly describe which single activity listed in the Activity section of your Common Application represents your most meaningful commitment and why. (150 words or less)
When I was eight, I found my safe haven. There I could relax and forget about all of my problems, it was only the ball, my teammates, the court and I. I remember spending hours and hours playing without worrying about anything. I had finally found where I belonged. Playing volleyball was and still is my escape. Nothing matters when I'm playing, not even my family problems, my mother's disorder or any other issues I can have. All I have to think about is where I should put my right or left foot, or to whom I should send the ball. For years, it was all that I did, it was my passion. I grew up with volleyball, playing in competitions and training almost everyday. I learnt how to work as a team, develop my leadership and most important, I learnt that I could have fun doing something that I love.
I just wrote this. It is pretty raw, so please fell free to give me your opinion, I would appreciate it a lot!! should I say more about how I feel? Is it good enough?
Well, I think you have not answered the prompt well.... You keep telling about your passion about volleyball, but nothing is convincingly said about how it became such relieving experience for you. I think you need to improve this answer.
Also, I have an admin request for you - You should have a meaningful title for your essays when you open new threads (this titled is attended by us). It helps you also to earn more comments :)
