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The education life's journey - How are you incomplete? Notre Dame writing supplement


astew5 3 / 3 2  
Dec 29, 2014   #1
PROMPT: Blessed Basil Moreau, the founder of the Congregation of Holy Cross, described education as "the art of helping young people to completeness." How are you incomplete? (150-200 words)

ESSAY: I'm so grateful for the friends I've made at this stage of my life, and for the knowledge I've gained from the patient tutelage of my teachers. Yet, I know there are even greater challenges and relationships waiting for me in life, and I want to answer that responsibility by doing all that I can to fulfill my role in our world.

One is never truly complete without the education life's journey provides us. That journey is full of limitless opportunity to grow intellectually and spiritually from both formal educational pursuits and the experiences we have with those whom we surround ourselves.

My driving desire is to answer the call I have within to challenge myself educationally rather than to take the road of less resistance. To enter an environment of excellence not only in the academic world, but one which is renown for its student body and way of life. The University of Notre Dame is that calling. For me, acceptance to Notre Dame is the beginning of that path to completeness. This is the fork in the road that has great promise to lead to accomplishment buoyed by a once in a lifetime educational opportunity, or to a path fraught with hazards that are less likely to help fill that desire for accomplishing great things. [END ESSAY]

Any kind of editing would be great! This is 17 words over the limit so please also help me decide what to take out.
jricha 2 / 11 1  
Dec 29, 2014   #2
good overall. Maybe describe some specific examples of opportunities that would make you complete at notre dame. You could shorten the first sentence of the second paragraph because it kinda just restates the prompt.


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