I have to submit this essay by today... I just want additional ideas on this essay.. Be harsh and thank you in advance!!! :)
College of Engineering:
Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest. (500words)
When I was young, I wanted to be a wizard like Harry Potter. I wanted to ride a Firebolt, make an object levitate using the "Wingardium leviosa" spell, and hide myself with an invisibility cloak. However, as I grew up, these childish ambitions faded and a new dream emerged: I wanted to seek ways to turn this "magic" into reality.
However, as a girl from a culture that assigns definite gender roles, becoming an engineer seemed as bizarre as wanting to attend Hogwarts. Engineering was considered a man's field, and this "fact" naturally led me towards a major in biology. However, something has always left me feeling unsettled about this decision: I like both math and science. Ever since I took science courses in high school, I was fascinated because almost everything in the world could be explained clearly and concisely. I also found myself enjoying math because of the sense of accomplishment I gained after finding a definite answer to a difficult question. However, it was not until I took physics that I was able to learn how much I would gain from majoring in engineering.
As I learned about physics, I was continually surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Throughout the many labs, I was amazed at how different equations, such as those for kinematics and energy, can be combined together to construct an answer like magic. I had been prejudiced in my assumption that physics was not for me, and I realized this as I found myself being engrossed in the subject, which has led to my decision to attend an engineering school. Consequently, this has revived my childish ambition: I want to bring the magic that I dreamed of as a child to the real world through engineering. Specifically, I want to pursue biomedical engineering, an interdisciplinary subject that combines all my favorite subjects. Moreover, having researched the development of antibiotic resistance during the science fair, I have developed a penchant for research and finding solutions to complicated problems. Thus, I see much potential in this relatively new field, as many answers are yet to be discovered and various opportunities lie ahead.
Cornell Engineering offers resources that will aid my intellectual and social development. Not only does it has one of the best biomedical departments filled with devoted and caring professors, but also Cornell Engineering provides a variety of research opportunities and programs that will help me to become a creative leader and a critical thinker. I aspire to participate in cardiovascular valvular tissue research with professor Jonathan T. Butcher and to become an active member of Student Project Team. I would also like to join the Kessler Fellows Program, which will prepare me to expand my education for use in the business world. Thus, as a place I consider to be full of gifted "wizards," I believe I will not only gain from Cornell, but also add value to the community by actively engaging and challenging myself in my surroundings. Cornell is the Hogwarts that I have been looking for.
I love your idea, i wanted to write about the same thing, but my friends kept mocking me about wanting to write about "magic". I am not soo good in english , however, i can say that you're idea is simply great and that i think it shows the passion you have for the subject. You also didnt exaggerate magic and didnt add it where u shouldn't (the middle paragraphs). This essay shows passion as well as overcomming a challenge (culture brick walls)
