Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


Cornell Arts and Sciences supplement


hehalter 3 / 9  
Dec 21, 2009   #1
Any suggestions would be great! Thanks!

prompt:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (max. 500 words)

I looked at the painting, glanced over at my sister who was still standing by my side, then back at the painting. It was an unusual piece, like most of the art in the museum, but I was determined to view each and every one more fully than my sister. She was clearly aware of the competition and put up a tough fight. However, I was relentless and she eventually had no choice but to give up. As she walked away I stared a few seconds longer. I wanted to look like the thoughtful, ten year old, apt art observer I was trying so hard to be. The rest of my family members were ten paintings ahead, but I didn't mind. Viewing art takes discipline and I was developing this skill at the time, whether I knew it or not.

Due to this museum visit to the Guggenheim and many others that followed, I now have a love of art. Viewing, creating, studying, I find it all exciting. As I have grown up my tastes have been defined. I love Rothko, Clyfford Still, and the other abstract expressionists. I find the ambiguous, yet extremely poignant manner of their expressive paintings fascinating. I equally enjoy the minute details of Flemish masters such as Rogier Wan der Weyden and Jan van Eyck. My interest in art has evolved alongside many others, one of these being Chinese and East Asian studies. I have studied Chinese since eighth grade and while my initial reasons concerned practicality, I've come to enjoy learning the language as well as China's cultural intricacies.

Cornell would provide me with many resources to pursue my academic interests with challenging courses, excellent professors, and an array of academic resources. Currently, I would like to continue my Chinese and Art History studies. I am most intrigued by Cornell's China and Asia-Pacific Studies major, a program I have not seen at any other school. It would offer me the amazing opportunity of having a college experience at Cornell and also studying in Beijing and Washington D.C. I am a goal-orientated person, so I find this rigorous major with externships, an honors thesis, and two semesters of off-campus study very exciting. I would also like to minor in art history. By doing this I would be able to study Chinese culture, in addition to the country's political and economic aspects. I am especially interested in taking classes such as "Modernity and Chinese Art" and "Dawn of Modern Chinese Art," taught by professor An-yi Pan. Her specialization in Chinese traditional painting and modern art would be a perfect supplement to my academic career if I were lucky enough to attend Cornell.

With the richness of a Cornell education, I know my future would be filled with opportunities. I look forward to using the knowledge I would gain from my experiences while at Cornell in a constructive way. I plan to combine my interests to make a positive impact on our world, always remembering how lucky I am to have had an amazing education.
ZBurf 2 / 3  
Dec 22, 2009   #2
Your intro is great and you answer the question very well with specific details about the school.
The only part that kind of lost me was the quick shift from you as a ten year old to you currently as an art-lover. You could mention how your viewing of artwork has changed or how you no longer look at art just to compete with your family.

Awkward parts for me:

I have studied Chinese since eighth grade and while my initial reasons concerned practicality, I've come to enjoy learning the language as well as China's cultural intricacies

-maybe just combine the two clauses.

My interest in art has evolved alongside many others, one of these being Chinese and East Asian studies
-you could just say "My interest in art has merged with my interest in Chinese studies."

Overall, this is a really great essay and an easy read. Good Job!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 23, 2009   #3
I wanted to look like the thoughtful ten year-old, the apt art observer I was trying so hard to be.

Viewing, creating, studying, I find it all exciting.

Okay, the writing is good, but the claim to appreciate it is not convincing. It is not that you are not convincing, just these particular paragraphs. Someone who claims to appreciate art has to back it up with an entire philosophy of life, or at least a hint about such a philosophy. Writing about appreciating art is also a kind of art, so capture some of the magic in the way you describe the appreciation.

For an example of the criticism I'm trying to provide, I want to say that it seems unbbecoming to say studying with that prof would be a "perfect supplement to my academic career"... instead, you should make an attempt to capture in words whatever is was in her writing or art that made you feel a connection with her. Dig a little deeper!


Home / Undergraduate / Cornell Arts and Sciences supplement
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳