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Common app - talking about a previous university rejection is too heavy/risky?


namato 7 / 16  
May 30, 2011   #1
Hello all!! I'm applying for the 2011-2011 university intake and was wondering whether talking about a previous university rejection is too heavy/risky for a common app essay. The point of my essay with not revolve around self pity but rather how I've taken that experience and grown emotionally. Feedback will be very much helpful.

As a child, I was always warned against swallowing watermelon seeds. In my childhood naivety, I would intentionally swallow the seeds with dreams of having a great big watermelon growing in the depths of my belly. Now, all grown up, in moments like these, laying on a large straw mat strewn across the frontage garden chomping away at cold watermelon slices, I can't help but chuckle. Not at the impossibility of the dream but rather the innocent enormity of it. Over the years, I have scaled my dreams to fit within the realms of reality and with that have come some tough life lessons. The beginning of 2011 was especially difficult; personally and academically. Late into my mock exams, I received news of an unsuccessful application to a university I had set my eye and heart on. The news left me tremendously upset. All my dreams hopes and aspirations shattered in that one instant. I had failed; I was not good enough. How was I to pick up the pieces of dreams that I had worked so hard throughout high school to reach? Where would I begin? A liquid glaze coating my eyes ruptured and let hot tears stream down my cheeks.

A stroke of luck came a few weeks later- although I did not see it then- when I stumbled across a babies' orphanage in my neighborhood. I've always had a fondness for children; perhaps it's the effect of having three younger sisters. Naturally, I felt drawn to pay a visit and to my pleasant surprise, I was welcomed by three beaming and wide eyed toddlers. In due course, what was initially a one-time visit grew into a couple of hours after school which in turn morphed into entire Saturday afternoons. Before I knew it, I was spending whole days at the orphanage during my school holidays. Up until this very day, I can't explain what it is that kept me going back. Maybe it was having bits and pieces of mashed potatoes and peas catapulted at my face and the toothless grin received thereafter. Or possibly the bob of their charmingly chubby cheeks as we played catch in the lawn but then again it could be the relentless persistence as they tried to dress themselves, the result; clothes inside out and shoes wrong way round. Yet they tried again. Through my little ones, as I like to call them, I've slowly rebuilt the dreams I thought I'd lost; dreams of going to college, taking my current interests to a level beyond high school, exploring newer interests with courage and optimism and just taking that journey of self-discovery .

Six months later, I have not only developed a profound appreciation of the positive things in my life but also the little blessings that I have had all along; both my parents, a loving family, a warm bed, three square meals, hot showers and just life in general. With a renewed outlook on life, I decided to take a gap year to commit and focus my efforts on a passion of mine; community service. This time in my home land, Uganda. My greatest hope as of now is to impart all that I have learnt throughout my school years in Kenya to those who need it the most and for that I have applied for an assistant teaching post at a rural primary school. If there's one thing I have learnt this year, it is the importance of dreaming and taking committed steps in achieving that dream despite seemingly difficult challenges.

I acknowledge that 2011 has not been my best year but through the tears, I have discovered an inner strength that I never knew existed. This is an attitude I hope to take with me, not only to college but also beyond college in each and every aspect of my life.
klatz238 4 / 27  
May 31, 2011   #2
Dearest Sabina,
I sincerely appreciate your carefulness on this matter and here is what I would do if I was in your shoes.
I will weigh my strength and weaknesses regarding my current application. How? i) By examining the level at which I have or have not met with the admission requirements ii) try as much as posible to picture what kind of candidate the university wants and see if I am potentially qualified (I really have to be sincere with myself on this) iii) since 'academic achievement' alone cannot garantee admission success (at least not for masters programme), I really need to critically assess my 'experiential achievement'. By this I mean those positions I have held (either through selection or election) and successfully display leadership qualities, those years of work experience that I have acquired which have close and direct connection with the programme I am currently applying for (note that they are looking for candidates who has potentials for success in school and you know experience is an invaluable instrument for success), those volountary service you have rendered which helped boost your strenght and understanding or the knowledge acquired from an internship sometimes ago, the number of publications you have to your credit, and so fort.

Having done an objective and factual assessment of your chances of being admitted and you are confident that you have got enough in your talent bank, then you can choose to ignore the failure you once experienced and rely on your potentials. Is this safe? You should answer that for yourself coz I do not know myself.

But hey Sabina, I believe strongly that 'no knowledge is a waste'. In fact experienced gathered from failure at times, stand greater chances of being a propelling force for future success than experience gathered from past success (of coures this may not apply to everyone). So my second advice is that you try to turn that failure to opportunity for yourself and the school, be bold to 'briefly' state how that experience has significantly turn to an asset for you and how you have learnt (or planed) to use the knowledge to build something new and important for the programme you are applying for or better still, for your career. Please Sabina, do not state this fact in expectation for symparty. Like I said, be bold about it and make sure it is 'very brief'. When you are through with your work, please do not forget to pray. I don't know about you but I believe in prayer.

I wish you well Sabina.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 31, 2011   #3
wondering whether talking about a previous university rejection is too heavy/risky for a common app essay.

You can mention it ONLY if it helps to express the main idea. Do not try to express multiple ideas in your essay. One essay = ONE BIG IDEA.

So... what is the big idea? I think it should be an idea about your own unique aspiration in your field of interest. Give the reader a glimpse into your future.

There are 2 kinds of students: those with a plan, and those who just blow in the wind.

:-)

Probably the experience of rejection is not important enough to include in such a discussion. Remember, you only get to write maybe 20-25 sentences in a 500 word essay. Make every sentence count!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 22, 2011   #4
In my childhood naivety, I would intentionally swallow the seeds with dreams of having a great big watermelon growing in the depths of my belly.

Nice... that's cool.

Let's trim away a little at the start:
As a child, I was always warned against swallowing watermelon seeds. In my childhood naivety, I would intentionally swallow...

homeland -- one word

an assistant teaching post at a rural primary school. ----Is this related to your plan for the future? I think it's important to balance the story with the plan -- balance the past with the future. Do you know what I mean? I think you should discuss the specifics of your plan a little more. In fact, I think you should discuss your specific plans both at or near the beginning and end of the essay.
OP namato 7 / 16  
Jul 1, 2011   #5
Thank you again. Your input is really helpful. Will work on it some more. :)


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