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College Essay (what do i bring the the campus that will enrich, life eprirences, personality)


brockky 1 / -  
Sep 8, 2015   #1
I feel as though I bring many positive and enriching aspects to the UW-Platteville campus and social life. For as long as a can remember my parents never really pushed me in academics and extracurriculars. Some might say that it would be very devastating on me and cause me to flunk and drop out of classes, but with them not pushing me and constantly on me about grades it caused me to care even more. They would always say, "It's your future, not mine." and that really pinned it in my head that my decisions now will affect the rest of my life so I better make them with the vision of my future in mind. With that, I have taught myself how to handle a variety of situations especially within the academic realm. Having taught myself I know what it is like to fail and not succeed and that is something that I feel everybody needs to experience to appreciate success more. Neither of my parents attended a four year college although they both regret it they are still successful. Optimism is one of my main characteristics that anybody in contact with me can tell right away. I have always and will forever be an optimist I always look at the bright side and even when it looks like there isn't the most obvious bright side I try to create one and ensure positivity. I always have to be doing something and don't like sitting at home watching TV. Ever since I was a little boy I've loved taking things apart and creating new inventions. My parents would come home to me with the TV remote apart and the VCR in pieces. My curiosity and thirst for knowledge has always been a big part of me and will always be. Growing up in a not so typical household I learned many skills and my personality developed on its own. I was never "forced" to do anything so that really set me apart. Anything that I wanted I had to work for myself and figure it out. The charecteristics that make me, me are used and built upon every day. My positive outlook, thirst for knowledge, caring personality, and helpful mind will not only create a positive college experience for me but for the student body and others around me.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Sep 8, 2015   #2
- Some might say that it would be very devastating onto me...
- ...but withhaving them not pushingputting pressure on me..
- ...and not constantly on meconcern about grades...
- andT hat really pinned it in my head that my...
- ...that anybody in contact with me can tell right away.
- ...it looks like there's not oneisn't the most obvious bright side, I try...

Go for spreading positivity!!! This is one trait that the world need these days. There's always a bright side of things and staying positive draws that bright side to your doorstep. Nevertheless, optimism is the key to a happy and longer life, I once read an article from a survey that once a person is optimistic the positive energy just grows from within and spread to the people around them, creating a harmonious society.

Now, going back to your essay, I believe you can still elaborate and expand the topic and as a college essay, I feel like there should be a few more sentences to write.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 8, 2015   #3
I can help you with some of your essay. I will help you with word choice.

Here is a simple change you can make "For as long as I can remember, my parents never really pushed me academically or to participate in extracurricular activities." There are two issues with the next sentence. Please state "fail or drop out". Also, place a comma after classes. Here is a suggestion for the next sentence: "However, because they did not constantly pressure me about my grades, it caused me to care even more" I would suggest avoiding beginning sentences with the word "And". You could use "That really pinned it in my head". I think you mean it left an impression or helped you to appreciate rather than pinned in my head.

2nd paragraph: Your second paragraph could begin with how you taught yourself how to handle situations. Here are some suggestions for other sentences: "Now I know what it is like to fail..." Neither of my parents attended a four year college although they both regret it they are still successful. "That is why optimism is one of my main characteristics. that anybody in contact with me can tell right away. I always look at the bright side and even . When it looks like there isn't the most obvious bright side doesn't exist, I try to create one and ensure a positive side." (You could also use positive outlook).

Last paragraph: You could begin your discussion with describing how you try to avoid sitting at home and watching television. Place a comma after boy, household, and wanted. These errors usually exist before the word "I". Here is a suggestion: The characteristics that make me who I am are getting better everyday. (If you are using and building upon them, they should be getting better).
anggicaroot 20 / 19 3  
Sep 30, 2015   #4
Let me try to give you some advice..

I feel as though I bring many positive impact[/i] and enriching aspects due to the UW-Platteville campus and social life. ForAs long as a i cancould remember my parents never really [i]extremelypushedencourage me in academics and extracurriculars.

Please becareful withyour complex sentences..
Keep writing:)


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