Hi, I'm a prospective transfer student for Rice and I'm torn between how to write the why school of study essay. I'm transferring from Electrical Engineering to medicine. I originally wrote an essay saying my characteristics and why I want to study medicine, but then I had someone suggest that I should explain why I was transferring. So i wrote a second essay. I'm not sure which to use.
First Essay
I have a fascination with the extremes.
My mind unravels at thoughts of the endlessly large or small, captivated by how far I can push my psyche in either direction. It's this fascination, that attracts me to the Natural Sciences. From the inconceivably small of individual cells, organelles, and the minute intricacies of it all, to the immense and unimaginable, of the number of cells in our body, to the connections in the brain, the Natural Sciences fuels my endless ambitions. What draws me further though, is the humanity that brings it together. Whether as a doctor, maturing, crying and laughing with a patient, or as a researcher, beholdingg the impact of ones work in others lives, theres a rich compassionate element underlying it all. Rice, with it's Texas Medical Center, Proscience Research Collaboration, and close teacher student relations, is the perfect place for me to develop my ambitions, to achieve as much as my mind can conceive.
Second Essay
If you were to open up my family's DNA, somewhere among the countless C,G,T, and A amino acids, you'd find the genetic code for an engineer. Every field of study, from Civil and Mechanical, to Electrical and Aerospace, has been claimed by one of my many family members. So naturally, I followed the trend. However it seemed that my genes had come together a little differently, and ultimately, I discovered that engineering was not my calling. Rather I longed for what had been a passion of mine for years - the Medical Field. There was a humane element that I missed. The intimacy with patients, the emotions evoked as their struggles become mine, the compassion underlying it all, there's no field like it. I want a line of work that connects me with others, that is driven by relations and interaction. Medicine is how I combine my passions with my work.
I'm thinking about taking the last part of my second essay, and elaborating on it, but I'm not sure. Last year on my application I did the same thing and wrote about the compassionate side of medicine. I'm really torn, and I know it's complex, but what route do you guys suggest? I am still tweaking the second essay so feel free to edit anything out! I really want my essay to be powerful and not cliche. Thanks.
Hi Cdan! How long does your essay have to be? Is there a prompt or instructions? Right now, your essays both seem rather short and undeveloped. I don't see why you can't write one essay that connects both of your thoughts. I think your essay should encompass why you want to be a doctor, why you want to transfer, and why specifically the program at Rice. Those all go hand in hand (in hand). You don't have to exclude one in favor of the other. In fact, a more comprehensive essay with insight into your motivations, goals, plans, and previous experience is going to give the admissions committee a bigger picture of who you are.
What is it about the medical field that draws you to it other than the interactions with patients? What are your goals for your career? Any specialty? How can you connect your skills or experiences in engineering to those that make you a strong candidate for the medical program? These might be some things to think about.
the essay length is 150 words, it's a very short essay, and that's why they seem underdeveloped, I'm not sure which to focus on.
Hmm, yeah, 150 words is not a lot of space to write.
It seems to me that they are asking why you are choosing this school, knowing that you might change your major or field again in the future. It seems like it might be more about how the school can benefit you, what you will gain from the school, etc... knowing that the field you choose to study might not be the one you graduate with a degree in or go into that career.
Rice, with it's Texas Medical Center, Proscience Research Collaboratio...
This sentence seems like you are answering what they are asking, but I think they also want you to discuss it in more concrete terms. Specifically, why/ how will close student teacher relations help you succeed?
Yea that is true, but there was also the "why are you transferring" essay, which goes into depth about that. The essay is 650 words and it explains why I want Rice, the specific reasons and programs I seek, and the opportunities there that I look forward to. I read this essay as why am I choosing medicine, while the other essay was why Rice. I'm just not sure about if I should highlight the fact that I'm transferring, or if it should all be why medicine. Explaining that I'm transferring could make me stand out, and could explain why I didn't stay in engineering.
