Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4


Caters to various interests of students; Boston U/ Why BU is a good fit for you?


GreenEggsandSam 1 / -  
Dec 15, 2012   #1
Could you please give me some insight as to what to change for my college application essay? Thanks!

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

I have never been a picky eater. I love food. At any meal, I can be counted on to finish my plate and go for seconds. What makes food so great is its variety. However, not all food is good food. A delectable dish appeals to the different tastes, desires, and goals of the consumer. A good university should do the same. After a year of searching, Boston University is the only school that has been able to satisfy my collegiate appetite. I was enticed BU's nationally ranked biology program. With five different biology specialties, I was captivated by the school's interest in catering to the various interests of its students. Moreover, BU's renowned faculty does not simply teach. As a student, they would give me the foundation I need to continue my education with graduate studies and or the marketability to begin my career. Along with the professors, the students echo Boston University's unique aura of academic prestige. They are apt intellectuals whose competitiveness would motivate me to work to my fullest potential. Despite their competitive nature, I have experienced firsthand how welcoming and friendly are. With the city as my backyard, I would have opportunities in Boston that other schools cannot offer, such as internships at prominent laboratories. More than that, the environment at and adjacent to BU fosters diversity, culture, and community all of which are important to me. Boston University is the only school that possesses the amenities I desire and thus is the school I know I am meant to attend.

Note* I wanted to include in my concluding sentence something about how great food at BU is, but I didn't know how to incorporate it without sounding corny or stupid. Any suggestions?
lulwut 5 / 26 1  
Dec 15, 2012   #2
I really like the comparison of colleges to food. It grabs the readers interest off the start, and isn't the same old bland short essay that the admissions office must read all the time.

"Boston University is the only school that possesses the amenities I desire and thus is the school I know I am meant to attend."

I feel that this last sentence might turn off the admissions office a bit. I know that isn't your intention, but consider changing it to, "...is the school I know I want to attend." or something similar.

"...I have experienced firsthand how welcoming and friendly are. "
...I have experienced firsthand how welcoming and friendly they are.

"...BU's renowned faculty does not simply teach"
Consider changing this sentence a bit. They more than likely already know that their college has a very good selection of teachers, and in this sentence it is as if you are informing them of it.

"More than that, the environment at and adjacent to BU fosters diversity, culture, and community all of which are important to me."
More than that, the environment at and adjacent to BU fosters diversity, culture, and community, all of which are important to me.

Overall, a very good essay, where little revising is needed. I hope I helped a bit. Please take a look at my Common App essay as well! :)
imbue 6 / 24  
Dec 24, 2012   #3
I think this is very well written, and I really like the comparison between the food and the college conditions.
I think there are minor peices that you should think about elaborating on or editing, such as the following sentence:

"Moreover, BU's renowned faculty does not simply teach. As a student, they would give me the foundation I need to continue my education with graduate studies and or the marketability to begin my career."

I understand what you're trying to say, but the sentence above and sentence below both elaborate a lot and include examples. I realise that you have a limited word count, but perhaps you could try to elaborate upon the specific things that BU has that others do not; the Longwood Medical Center is nearby, there is a great medical program, the BU trauma center is better than those of even Brigham and Mass General, etc. I think details like that will help.

Overall, it sounds great; good luck!
sakin 1 / 5  
Dec 25, 2012   #4
wow! This is great. you show personal connection. you would so get in.


Home / Undergraduate / Caters to various interests of students; Boston U/ Why BU is a good fit for you?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳