Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
As far as I can remember, every time my parents would trade in our family car for a new one I would react in an uneasy manner. Going to the car dealership and getting inside different vehicles with their new car scent was exciting but as the visit came to an end things would take somewhat of an ugly turn. The first time I experience this was when we traded in our Toyota SUV for a Ford SUV. It ended with me embarrassingly sobbing in front of my family and the cars salesman. This kind of reaction would always occur when my parents would buy a new car. It made me feel nostalgic, longing for what used to be. In a way it felt as if a chapter in my life that I enjoyed was closing.
Similar situations that dealt with change came about throughout my adolescence. When it came to losing old friends and making new ones, it was a difficult task for me because I was not sure how to handle these kinds of situations. As I grew up, I came to realize that I was not very receptive to change. I got rid of the sobbing but it still made me feel uneasy. I realized that there are two kinds of change: positive change and negative change. A negative change involves regress instead of progress. Opposed to a negative change, positive change involves progress instead of regression. This new concept encouraged me to face change with a new attitude and see the good in it. I found that change enables me to grow as an individual. Once I welcomed change into my life, I was able to confront new challenges in a positive way. This led me to change aspects about my life such as having more involvement in school activities and clubs. I allowed myself to become much more of an open minded person and gain new perspectives on various matters. This, in turn, transformed into an individual with a diverse set of ideas and values. Change is essential for the development and analysis of ones character. It taught me that if I was not willing to adapt to change, I would remain stuck in one place and not evolve in character. Internal changes are sometimes the biggest changes you can make on the way to becoming the person you want to be, and some of the hardest to accept or explain
This realization has enabled me to embark on a new chapter in my life as I prepare for college. I learned that sometimes it is best to be taken out of your comfort zone cause that's when you are tested. College entails many exciting opportunities for me. I will have the opportunity to meet and learn from new people who each have unique stories to tell. It represents a next phase in my life where I will acquire new knowledge and make new memories. Change allowed me to improve as a person and helped solidify what I stand for. By embracing change, I was able to learn, not limit myself, and become fearless.
So what is your story or background that is so central to your identity. You give brief stories about the car exchange and changing friends. You should stick to one story and elaborate on it further. Half of your essay is about change and most adcoms know what change is. Write more about how change has affected you than what change means.
But how did you come to realize change is necessary? All you do is list a few examples of the past and then suddenly "oops I grew up and figured it out." Please delete the beginning stuff and then focus on one or two events that actually helped you realize that change is good.
Both are not very good. All you do is tell, never show...it's all too ambiguous. There should be some narrative. WHY did you and your friend drift apart and WHAT exactly made you love sitting in the passenger seat looking out.
These both need a lot of work, but I would choose the second one as my essay. The first is uninteresting.
You can do it!
I think that the first essay is good, but maybe you should write more about how or why you and your friend drift apart since the prompt is asking you to write a story.
