Hi guys, I am not a native speaker, so my sentences are not really professional, and I am not really sure how to end this essay. Please give as many as possible advice, I really appreciate your help. Thanks!!! :)
PERSONAL STATEMENT: Please share a single excerpt of your life (or a story) with us that illustrates the strength of your personal character and highlights the qualities that would make you a unique addition to the Carlson School of Management community. Length: 1-2 pages double-spaced. *Your personal statement will be evaluated on a variety of factors. These include, but are not limited to: writing mechanics and clarity, personal insight and story development.
I grew up in a quadrangle courtyard in Beijing which four families had to share a single yard, so my upbringing and personalities were influenced by not only my parents, but also these neighbors. A quadrangle courtyard is usually owned by one family and the others are just tenants, which was the status of my family. It was a really hard time for my family to afford the rent and so did other tenants. The exchange for rent began by giving equivalent valuable substances, like jewelries, bonds and stocks. This situation made me want to contribute my power and reduced my parents' financial burden.
To alter my family's difficulties, I started to vend roadside stall after school when I was 12. But the profit of selling birthday cards and stationeries was too little to make a change for my family, and I had to give up because of academic stresses. I was so frustrated until I overheard my neighbors' argument about their increasing stocks that they were not willing to exchange with the landlord. My parents also had conversations about stocks all the time, and finally stock caught my attention which lead me to have more passions for business study. I did not know anything about stock but only up and down jagged lines, but after learning a little while, I used my parents' account and made a profit that paid two months of our rent. I was so cheerful and these experiences laid the foundation for my later education.
My mother started her own business and we were able to moved out from the quadrangle courtyard. She believed the United States could offer great education, so I went abroad and studied in an American high school. Unlike the high schools of my home country, I could choose classes and pursue my interests. During my junior and senior years, I chose accounting, AP Calculus and AP Microeconomics which fulfilled my desire of business, and the introduce to business course made my love for business grew even more. I started to making management plans, giving out business presentations and working on accounting forms. My passion for business transformed into my outlook for my education, and this became the reason I applied to University of Minnesota-Twin Cities.
Unfortunately, I was not been selected by Carlson School of Management, but fortunately, I got accepted into College of Liberal Arts. I took this as a challenge, not a failure. This past semester, I was able to consider my passion for business carefully. Among all the majors that College of Liberal Arts has offered, business is still my best-loved field which could not be given up. I joined business organizations and attended the meetings which I became increasingly drawn to accounting by the speaker from Ernst & Young. If I could be accepted to Carlson, I would like to major in accounting with a minor in international business. The experience from the past could support my academic for accounting study and my personal character allows me to work carefully and diligently. As an international student, I would like to serve as a bridge for business communications between the United States and my home country, China. Most importantly, Carlson provides not only limited to business, but the opportunities for students to set their social networks, expand one's horizon and be passionate about making an impact.
I really appreciate this opportunity to transfer to Carlson, and life taught me to try every time, so if I could not been selected this spring, I believe I will try again next year...
