Ever since my mother came back from studying in Harvard for a summer business program, she had been telling me non-stop about the benefits of studying in Boston, a city so ripe with students eager to learn and a rich historic background to boot. I ventured to find out if it was as impressive as she made it out to be.
Delete or rephrase unimportant information. It isn't necessary to mention these two things: 1) your mother's summer program at Harvard and 2) the influence she had on your eventual discovery of BU. 61 words
that could have been used to describe why BU is a good fit for you, either that or a substantial enough reason to apply.
It was all that she said and more, I instantly found myself wanting to study at BU the most.
You could bold the most
to make it clear that BU is your first choice. This will improve your chances of admittance.
With its diverse population and students eager to reach their dreams I feel like its the best place for me to grow and flourish, especially in an international setting. That is why, what I am most interested in is the Study Abroad Program and the major-market internships as well as the student-run communication agencies especially the PR Lab.
Be concise. Separate these ideas into individualized sentences; that is, you could use those aforementioned 61 words to explain why its programs, internships, and agencies interest you.
Already I am excited to gain valuable hands-on experience working to help clients in the oldest student-run public relations agency
On the surface, it seems as if its oldness
appeals to you the most. You could rephrase this sentence.
As a student who is highly motivated and eager to learn, I feel that BU is the best choice for me to really prepare myself to go out into the real world and give back to society.
You could give your claims credence by explaining in greater detail how BU can help you prepare for the world and contribute positively to society.