Hi everyone!
So this is just a start on my essay. I don't know what else to say! It's at about 155 words now, and I think I should get up to around 400, maybe even closer to 500.
Example wise, I just can't think of anything. This is cause I hardly ever take advice, which is horrible, i know :(
Throughout the almost 18 years of my life, I've been given a lot of advice by teachers, parents and friends alike. While I'm sure they've all been very encouraging and helpful, I don't remember much of the advice because I like to think that I can figure things out on my own, without help from anyone else.
However, my friend Brenna recently said to me, "You know, people want to help you succeed and they just want to make things a little bit easier for you through their experience. Take their advice." So as I reflect on my life so far, I see that this is very much true! There would have been less scrapes and bumps along the road if I had trusted other people's advice and used their experience to help me in my ventures, from small ones like "Don't touch the stove" from my mom, to advice about school work from teachers.
On one memorable occasion, I was in a weekly rehearsal for the Greater Twin Cities Youth Symphonies. I play violin in the highest level of orchestra, Symphony, and I was studying biology while our conductor was critiquing the wind section.
My friend Anne said, "Err you might want to listen now. He said something about seating auditions."
Of course, I thought that I already was prepared for the seating audition and knew exactly what excerpts of our pieces would be on there. But as I was frantically making sure that I was prepared for my biology exam, (Also, don't procrastinate is a good, tried and true piece or advice) I only touched my violin a few times that week. Meanwhile, my friend Anne texted me and emailed me, asking if I needed to know what the excerpts were. I knew what they were, our conductor had told us weeks ago, so I didn't bother to think about it more. The weekend before my audition, I realized that I needed to brush up on the excerpts of Brahms' First Symphony and Berlioz's Roman Carnival. I started to play and the sections struck me as very simple. I wasn't going to complain about that, so I felt ready. But on Monday night, as I rosined up my bow like I do every Monday night at 6:45 PM, I heard unfamiliar passages being played by my fellow violinists.
I turned to Anne and asked, "I practiced the right passages, right? He didn't change them?!'
And to my horror, she replied, "I tried to tell you! You wouldn't listen!"
And so, I spent the next few minutes before I was due to play my excerpts, practicing the passages that I should have been playing for the last week. My last minute attempts were futile, and during my audition, I messed up the difficult runs and jumps, with horrible intonation.
I definitely learned my lesson that time. Paying attention and accepting my friend's help would helped me prepare for my seating audition and for rehearsal as well. Music is very important to me, and has been a part of my life since I started playing piano in 2nd grade, so I was extremely disappointed in myself for not being prepared. Not being able to complete an assignment or play an excerpt is one thing, but if you don't even know what the assignment or excerpt is, then that is awful. It made me look terrible to my conductor and it was disrespectful to him, because I hadn't listened. Since then, I have paid very close attention when teachers and conductors give instructions and have asked them for clarification if need be. It is pretty basic, but can affect the outcome greatly. That advice has been taken now!
it's a good start. i think you should work on your vocabulary though.
i know how hard it is to start on an essay. its actually the hardest part for me. but you're doing good so far. my advice is that you just keep going and write whatever comes to your mind. then, once you're done, go back and reread it and fix anything that needs fixing. but make sure that you don't go off topic and always ask yourself "am i answering the prompt?" and make sure you include what you got out of the experience and how you grew from it--colleges like to see that.
i hope this helps =)
I actually like your take on this. The piece of advice being "take advice" is pretty unique. In order to make it longer, you should use more specific examples. For instance, talk about a time when you didn't want to take someone's advice because you were determined to figure the problem out for yourself. Or, elaborate on the "advice about school work from teachers."
