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My brother's sickness dictated our lives; TUFTS-"Let your life speak"


mikeyra 1 / -  
Nov 22, 2012   #1
Okay, so I need to make this way shorter
it's currently 581 words it needs to be 250
Your help is much appreciated, thank you!

There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised - your family, home, neighborhood or community - and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)

My mother wanted the best for me, even if it was not in her best interest. Coming from a broken home, my mother married my stepfather to prevent my childhood from mirroring her own, and then locked herself into her marriage by having my brother. When my brother was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism, the facade of my parents marriage began to fall apart. After my brother was born, his condition dictated our lives, from food choices, to when I could have friends over. He was prone to impetuous outbursts, constant repetitive motions, and nervous breakdowns which bordered on suicidal. In once case, I had to pull him up after he suspended himself from our second story staircase. While moving from house to house, looking for a place to settle, my parents focuses most of their attention on my brother I developed a passion for reading and adventuring, something that allowed me to created a world to myself. I grew jealous of my friends' families and often felt hopeless. Mainly, I resented my brother for tearing apart my family that my mom had put so much effort into keeping together.

My family finally stopped moving, we settled down and so did my brother. He became his own person, accepting of the role life drew for him. I began to see how much my parents, especially my mother, had sacrificed. As a family, we had one of the hardest jobs anyone could ever have, but we had no choice but to do it. My parents are heroes to me, and as I grew closer to my brother I began loving his little quirks and his fascinations with comic books, ancient religions, and Japanese sword fighting. Now that my family had calmed down something was able to happen, something grew inside of me, through the force of the situation I had become an independent person.

As I got older, my parents respected me as an individual. I was able to learn for myself and experience things my friend's parents never would have allowed their children to do . I was granted the privilege of being able to learn through experience. My parents even went as far as allowing me to go by myself to work on a sustainability project in Detroit for a whole summer. Because of this freedom my parents gave me, and the experiences I had with my brother, I was able to look at other situations I encountered with a more holistic and open approach. The choices I made were dictated not by my parents, not by my brother, but by me. I was able to put myself into positions that required maturity, dedication, and strength.

My family is undeniably supportive of me in everything I do. I've been able to create a path for myself that partly stems from my family community and partly from what their freedom has allowed me to figure out for myself. I want to be an active force of change in the world I am entering into. I want to help people who are underrepresented, who have untapped potential. By helping people approach problems from a different perspective, I hope to motivate people realize their true abilities and create a more self-aware and capable world, a world which works together to overcome inhibitions and challenges. Life does not happen as expected, but if we make it through the struggles, the frustrations, and the tears, we can become kinder, accepting, and better people.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 22, 2012   #2
Seems you have a problem with the word count; you already have over 500 words :D

Here's some help to cut down;

When my brother was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism, the facade of my parents marriage began to fall apart.

------------ you cant have such details when you have a tight word count limitations....Therefore no harm leaving that out

After my brother was born,hisHis condition dictated our lives, from food choices, to when I could have friends oversocial interactions .

You write so well and it is such an interesting piece of writing. I think you do not have to include the last paragraph. That would help you manage the word count and even without it, it reads so well : )


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