Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
Essay Topic "A"
Throughout my life, I have been influenced by thousands of things; from music to television, books, movies, friends, and family. But the person who has made the largest impact on my life so far would be a man named (BOB).
(BOB) is a Police Officer in Coppell Texas and has been the Advisor for the Coppell Police Explorer Post for the past two years. Since joining this post, Officer (BOB) has been a role model to me and instilled many qualities and attributes that I am glad to have learned. From the start I learned what being part of a team really means and how to be a leader. I also have learned ethics, discipline and the ability to learn from my mistakes. Officer (BOB) has not just made an impact on me, but he has become an inspiring human being. Two years ago, when I first joined the post, I was a quiet young man who kept mostly to himself and was very shy around people I did not know. But from Officer (BOB)'s example I have learned to be more outgoing and confident in myself. I have also been able to hone my leadership skills and I have been taught the ability to learn from my mistakes.
Officer (BOB) has made a large impact on my life that will stay with me for the rest of my existence. Though I have learned a lot from him, compared to vast amount of good qualities he possesses, I have learned little. But I truly aspire to be like him one day; an honest, dedicated, ethical, and disciplined leader. This amazing role model has not only taught me these qualities with words, but with actions. His influences run deep in my life by teaching me to be the best that I can be and do the best that I can do and this impact is one of the greatest one could ever have.
Are you a part of the Coppell Police Explorer Post? You write that you jointed the post - in what capacity did you work with Officer Bob? (Why not just call him Bob or Officer, not both in parenthesis.) It would be interesting to read about some examples of how you grew working together. I am not sure you have done justice to Bob -he doesn't quite come to life in your essay. You say
This amazing role model has not only taught me these qualities with words, but with actions. His influences run deep in my life
As a reader, I would like to read bout what those actions were, what were the influences?
I have been taught the ability to learn from my mistakes. --- This part, too... it would be better to give an example. You cannot give the example here, but maybe you can take out this empty claim and use the words in the next paragraph for an example of a mistake from which you learned.
It's great that you had a run in with the police that left a positive impact! It is not always that way, ha ha.
Officer (BOB) has made a large impact on my life that will stay with me for the rest of my existence.---- now when you do this, you are just stalling. You are just reaffirming the previous message. So... how about asking yourself what the 2 or 3 main ideas are that you want to express.
I think you wrote this before coming up with the specific theme you want to use. :-)
