this is a rough draft, any feedback is welcome and totally appreciated(: thank you~
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
I have known him since elementary school. He lives in the neighborhood across from mine. He is tall, thin, and obsessed with his hair. He can't read his own handwriting. He likes NCIS, cars, and eating the soft part inside a bread bun. He is my ex-boyfriend, one of my best friends, and has had more of an impact on me than he will probably ever know.
We dated for about two years in middle school and went through a rather bad breakup over the summer. He had every right to be bitter, and I expected our relationship to become awkward and eventually fade away, but instead we became even closer, which still surprises me. Instead of not talking to me, he calls me to make sure I get home safely when it rains. Instead of pretending to not know me, he brings me back a present after going on vacation. He has seen me go through other breakups and hardships, and while I have watched relationships crumble around me, he has always been there to help me out of the rubble. His patience and understanding is astounding. Even when I have tried not to show my distress and no one else has said anything to me, the first thing he does when we're alone is ask me if I'm okay. These little things he has done for me for as long as I can remember have really demonstrated how friendship can and should be so powerful and unconditional.
I honestly don't know how we were able to become such good friends, but I like to think that he was willing to give our friendship another chance. The fact that we reconnected almost right after our breakup gave me a new perspective on relationships and how they are built on second chances. He could have easily walked away, but instead he chose to stay and continue to invest in our friendship. This not only maintained the bond between us but also improved my relationships with others, because he really led me to understand that people do make mistakes. Just as he was willing to move past that summer, I have learned that I must move past faults and arguments; that resentment and holding grudges does no one any good; and most of all, that relationships can flourish in even the most unexpected circumstances, and all it takes is a little trust and a second chance.
Sure, we have had our disagreements, but we still remind each other of upcoming tests and share notes if one of us has been absent. We wait for each other after club meetings at school and walk to our cars together. We buy each other souvenirs when we are overseas. We have our inside jokes and games only we know how to play. We share music; we gossip; we give each other advice. And so, in the end, we are the best of friends.
Well written for a rough draft. I think the descriptions are good for they help create a vivid image of your relationship and its importance to you. The only thing I would recommend is not to start so fast with saying "him", but perhaps starting off with why this person you will be writing about has influenced you. Jumping off saying "I have known him since elementary school" isn't the best way to start the essay, but the actual essay is good. Everything seems fine I would just emphasize why he changed you if he has, and describe what you've actually learned about life, not just about him and you.
