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UC PROMPT 2- Battling depression and anorexia


alicer333 1 / -  
Nov 30, 2015   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?This was my essay for the UC schools. Please tell me what you think.

Depression runs in my family. My depression first hit at age 14. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought it was my fault for feeling as alone and unwanted as I felt. I became obsessed with one thing and one thing only-not eating. For months, I starved myself. I was barely eating enough to survive; it was my way of coping with my problems. In two months, I lost over thirty pounds. I was anorexic and very sick. I distanced myself from my friends and convinced myself that I didn't need anyone. The lack of nutrients messed with my hormones and I was extremely moody and antisocial. I wanted to be alone, I hated myself and I thought I'd always feel this way. I didn't understand why I felt like this. For months, my conditioning was deteriorating. My mom tried everything she could. She took me to therapy, but I was not improving. After a few months, my therapist recommended me to a psychiatrist. I started taking medication for my depression and it really helped me. I started learning to enjoy life again and I wanted to make the most out of it. I started focusing more in school and began taking AP classes. I released my energy during cross country and track practices and I ended up finding a love in running. I even got a job, to help me start saving for college. I now know, there's nothing wrong with me. It wasn't my fault for feeling this way; it was the lack of serotonin in my brain that made me feel the way I did. I want to study cognitive science because I am fascinated by the human brain and I want to learn more about how it functions, in order to help others with disorders. My depression was something that in the long run made me stronger. I'm proud to say that I've overcome it. I'm healthy and "normal" (somewhat normal), now. I've learned to enjoy the little things in life like a good book, a beautiful hike, a long run, my family, and even my little job making ice cream.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 30, 2015   #2
Hi Alice..
Your story give me motivation to fight always in all kinds conditions This writing is very good to grammar and explanation. Your eagerness is described clearly in your writing. I believe you can improve quality of you writing. I guess you should improve your essay about your a reason why you was proud after reaching an accomplishment. You should give strengthening at your statements. In addition, your writing will be more attractive if you give a illustrate more real in everyday life about relating with other people.

Good Luck..


My depression first hit at the age of 14. At firstFirstly , I thought there was something wrong withabout me.

For months, my conditioning was deteriorating in few months . My mom tried everythingwhich she could do .

After a few months, my therapist recommended me to taking treatment to a psychiatrist.


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