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'Ballet Florida, my second home' - FSU essay


cayleyc 2 / 4  
Sep 17, 2012   #1
Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you and why?

For twelve consecutive years, I walked into my second home, Ballet Florida, ready to learn. Three days a week of dance class turned into five days a week. An hour of dancing a single a class every few days turned into 4 hours of rehearsal each night. It was an institution of growth, of learning, of proving to yourself and others that you were destined to be an educated, learned, and talented performer.

Before my freshman year of high school, Ballet Florida unfortunately shut down due to bankruptcy. However, I was ready to take on high school, where being a member of the cheerleading team would fulfill my outlet to perform. As the year progressed I was notified of a local school holding auditions for a Musical Theatre scholarship. I auditioned as to see whether or not I would even be accepted and ironically, I was the recipient of this scholarship

My mother and I sat in the head of the Drama Department's classroom, ready to turn down this twelve thousand dollar yearly musical theatre scholarship, preparing our selves to break the news that I couldn't attend this school. There I was, perched on a chair right in front of his desk, representing the Cardinal Newman Crusaders in my royal blue CN hoodie, and khaki uniform skirt. There was no possibility that I could transfer to American Heritage for my sophomore year. American Heritage was Boca, and I was Palm Beach. How could this relationship ever operate successfully?

Well, this "relationship" proved to be outstanding and as a risk I took, it is one that was not regretted. I have learned so much in the past four years, about myself, and about myself as a performer. In my case, it was acting, singing, dancing, and performing in general. This is why the characteristic of learning appeals so much to me. Learning is such an important part of my lifestyle because when applied to factors like rehearsals, and acting, it is learning of your mistakes, it is the learning of how you can better yourself as a performer that is what moves you forward and, with singing and dancing, technique is what the individual is taught from day one. So, as I transition into my college years I take with me the intent of learning everything I can to further my knowledge of school, of my hobbies, of leadership, service, global awareness, all of which Florida State University has to offer and more.
Jordan Zhu - / 2  
Sep 26, 2012   #2
Getting a $12,000 annual scholarship is an achievement and learning from your rehearsals and performing in general is great, but it's too general. A few times, you've listed things that are hard to visualize or understand because they're just lists. And listless.

It was an institution of growth, of learning, of proving to yourself and others that you were destined to be an educated, learned, and talented performer.

I have learned so much in the past four years, about myself, and about myself as a performer .In my case, it was acting, singing, dancing, and performing in general . This is why the characteristic of learning appeals so much to me. Learning is such an important part of my lifestyle because when applied to factors like rehearsals, and acting, it is learning of your mistakes, it is the learning of how you can better yourself as a performer that is what moves you forward and, with singing and dancing, technique is what the individual is taught from day one. So, as I transition into my college years I take with me the intent of learning everything I can to further my knowledge of school, of my hobbies, of leadership, service, global awareness, all of which Florida State University has to offer and more .

An introduction with more personality and story that's followed by a story of something you learned from one of your singing, dancing, acting, cheerleading, or performing experiences would be better.

Brag sheets make me feel sad, and I feel kind of sad now.


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